Why Words With Friends is Good for My Marriage | The BridgeMaker

Why Words With Friends is Good for My Marriage

By on Apr 26, 2012

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller

After 27 years, Mary Beth and I have done just about everything to improve, sustain and even save our marriage. We have attended marriage counseling, renewed our wedding vows, and we have raised our children as a team.

We understand to make our marriage work; we must work on it every day. There are no days off, no free passes and no shortcuts. A marriage is what each person invests in it. I’m fortunate to have a partner who is looking to make investments that yield the same rate of return as me.

Beyond the personal challenges that can test a marriage, there are plenty of external factors that put a strain on a marriage, too. Mortgages, illnesses, and unexpected bills can create walls that keep the problems in and the intimacy out.

After spending nearly three decades building a life with Mary Beth, I’ve found the one secret to making our marriage work despite these challenges: Take time to enjoy the simple connections as they happen.

Welcome Words With Friends

My wife looks forward to her nightly baths. While I’m writing, she’s soaking and playing Words With Friends. She enjoys finding the high-valued words. But to be honest, I think she enjoys texting smack talk to her challenger a little more.

When I purchased an iPhone a few weeks ago, Mary Beth asked me to download the Words With Friends app so we could play together. I resisted because I didn’t think I would have time to play. But my one secret tugged at me, so I agreed.

The first few games were brutal. I had no idea there was an entire underground vocabulary specific to the game. Words like Qi, Xi and Azido felt like I was learning a foreign language. And what does TL or DW stand for anyway?

In her usual way, Mary Beth was patient. She walked me through some of the game’s finer points (and more obscure nuances). After playing a few matches, she helped me get the hang of it.

It’s a welcome distraction when my iPhone notifies me of her latest move. Seeing her face pop up makes me smile. Through the busyness of our days, Words With Friends has become a simple way to connect. Through this virtual connection, I see the 20+ point word she always seems able to play and then I can sense her smirking. Sometimes I’m the recipient her smack-filled text message. And I love it.

A 27 point connection

The challenges that crop up happen simply because we are married. They wouldn’t exist if we weren’t building a life together. While uncomfortable, at least they are reminders that we have decided to team up and fight the challenges together.

Every connection, no matter its severity, size or significance, is savored because we understand the alternative would be to face life alone, and we don’t want that.

My iPhone provides the welcome cue that our marriage is alive and well. I unlock the phone and tap the Words With Friends app to reveal the latest update: Words with Mary Beth Russo Blackwell… ‘AXES’ played 2 minutes ago

The challenges will be there tomorrow – just like they’ve been for the past 27 years.

A simple connection is waiting right now.

The BridgeMaker Founder Alex Blackwell is the author of Letting Go: 25 True Stories of Peace, Hope and Surrender. Join the community to connect, share and inspire: Twitter | Facebook | More Posts

  • Lovely new way for you guys to connect.  Freshness is always good for a relationship!

  • Nancy Shields

    Love this line:  Every connection, no matter its severity, size or significance, is savored because we understand the alternative would be to face life alone, and we don’t want that.

    To focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want – the desire to be with each other is a beautiful thing my friend.  You know when I got married in 1980, I thought that would be my only marriage – my only best friend and spouse but life gave me a different twist.  I value marriage and I desire marriage once again.  After 2 divorces and the FAITH to know that GOD has my perfect mate and when it’s time he will show up has it’s challenges too.  So I much rather have challenges with a mate’s help then facing them alone as I have been for the last 3 years…..

    Here’s to the institution of marriage,
    In love and light to you both and Words with Friends,

    •  Nancy,

      I respect your honesty, and faith. There’s a plan for you – no question. Stay strong as the plan continues to be revealed to you.

  • Bkav2

    So so true!! Have 4 grandchildren and 32 years of marriage and we are still working together each day with each challenge!!

  • Try http://wordswithfriends.org it’s awesome!

  • It’s beautiful, but sometimes we reach a point where even those small connections sounds impossible