What Makes Love Last | The BridgeMaker

What Makes Love Last

By on Nov 27, 2012

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. – Aristotle

After a particularly hard day, Mary Beth turned down the world’s noise to give me a chance to talk about what was bothering me. She sensed I was hurting and then provided the care needed.

Love is like that. One partner in tuned with the other no matter how loud the world gets.

There’s no secret to lasting love

My marriage isn’t textbook, but it is built to last. Mary Beth and I have notched 28 years together and we don’t see the streak ending anytime soon. We move through the days, months and years as if we will be together always – sharing a life, sharing a love.

Our 28 years have taught me a few things about love, like: what makes love last isn’t revealed in a secret; it’s revealed in hard work, commitment and passion. What makes love last isn’t shrouded in mystery; it is intentional, deliberate and wanted.

To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. – Fred Rogers

I don’t know how to love your partner, but I do know how to love Mary Beth and she knows how to love me. And somewhere mixed in with that knowledge are two hearts that beat to the same rhythm. So, here’s our rhythm – our music for making love last. You are welcome to sing along:

  • What makes love last is having the courage to look into your partner’s dark, secret places without blinking.
  • What makes love last is helping each other with the mundane; not because it’s expected, but because it’s natural.
  • What makes love last is seeing the faults in your partner as a reminder of their beautiful human dignity.
  • What makes love last is sharing a sweet kiss every day.
  • What makes love last isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about finding the way to win-win.
  • What makes love last is giving grace when requested and forgiveness when needed.
  • What makes love last is remaining faithful when the world the tempts you.
  • What makes love last is cherishing the small things.
  • What makes love last is investing heartfelt emotion during the most intimate moment.
  • What makes love last is taking advantage of the opportunity to express your love by emptying your heart and then watching as your partner fills it back up again.
  • What makes love last is willing to give it all away, but holding on to love until the end.

The BridgeMaker Founder Alex Blackwell is the author of Letting Go: 25 True Stories of Peace, Hope and Surrender. Join the community to connect, share and inspire: Twitter | Facebook | More Posts

  • Gotodmax

    Exactly how my husband and I think and feel about our relationship. Thank you for putting it in words.

  • susan b

    One of the best must dos for longevity in a relationship. Well done.

    • I’m happy you think the post has some value Susan, take good care.

  • What a beautiful and inspiring testament to marriage. I sometimes regret not having found that in my own life, although I am very content with my solo status and am not looking to change it. But I do admire those of you who find that special bond that grows through the years and decades. I hope that many newlyweds print this post and put it up somewhere as a reminder!

    • Hi Galen,

      Even after 28 years, I wrote this post to remind myself why I love Mary Beth and why I believe our love will last – just like a newlywed would.


  • Not much to say here. Just that you have written a wonderful, beautiful post Alex. Well done! Best regards,

    • I’m happy it touched you David and thanks for your kind words.

  • Jo

    So amazingly beautiful Alex!! I am a newly wed and while we have already been together for 8 years, i am just so excited about all the years still to come! Your words are a beautiful path for us to follow and let become part of our love, our rhythm…. our own song! Love and sunshine 🙂