Two Things We Want Most
Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. – Helen Keller
Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.
Life can be very complex at times. Working on relationships, raising children, building careers, and exploring our faith all require time and effort – no question. As complex as these things are, take comfort in the fact the reasons we work so hard may not be complicated at all.
It has been suggested by psychologists what people want most in life is to experience pleasure and to avoid pain. As a result of spending a lifetime paying attention to what people are saying and feeling, as well becoming more aware of what motivates and drives me; I would suggest the psychologists are wrong. From my life experiences, it is clear what we really want most boils down to two things: happiness, and purpose.
Think about it for a moment. Whether it’s having a loving marriage, a successful career, or enjoying more time with our children, the results we are seeking are to be happy and to find purpose and meaning in our lives.
Happiness
We all want to be happy. Not happy in a constantly blissful or euphoric sense, but in a fundamental and visceral one. It is not realistic to think we can be happy, or emotionally “high,” all of the time. After all, we get flat tires, receive poor service in restaurants, and have to pay our bills.
Stuff does happen in life which may not always make us feel happy, but the goal is to learn to be happy in spite of the annoyances and set-backs we encounter.
Happiness is the product of the day-in and day-out grind and still finding a place of contentment and peace in spite of what life throws at us. Happiness is to experience joy and take comfort in the fact we are living fully and without regret.
Happiness is to take advantage of the time we have on this earth by getting the most out of it. Happiness is going to bed tired knowing we gave the day everything we had.
Happiness is also a choice. We can allow events to derail what we want, or we can choose to fight, persevere and win. When we listen to our guts – to our inner wisdom, we can hear what we really want. Then, we get to choose how to respond.
Purpose
If happiness causes us to go to bed tired because of the effort we just gave to the day, purpose gets us back up in the morning.
Purpose is the fuel in our tanks that keeps us moving forward. As humans, we all want to know that our time in this world has made a difference and our life had a purpose.
I don’t need to look very far to see an example of the desire to have a purpose in life. Caitlin, my oldest daughter, is pursuing a degree in social welfare. My daughter could have selected any major, but she selected this one because the most important thing to Caitlin is to make a difference with her life.
She believes being a social worker is the best way to fulfill her purpose. What impresses me the most is the motivation behind this decision was not the analysis of her potential career earnings, but the analysis of living her life on purpose.
The expression, “living on purpose.” suggests we need to invest our time and resources in those activities that are best aligned with fulfilling our life’s purpose. Each day we need to inspect our words and actions to be certain they are supporting our core values and purpose. When we live on purpose, we can better enjoy and celebrate the passion and energy we have for our lives.
Still looking for your life’s purpose? Here’s one way you can find it. Take a sheet of paper and begin to write down all of the things you are passionate about. This is your list, so don’t cheat yourself. Be real and be honest with yourself, and just let the inspiration flow.
Write down any dreams you have had in the past or any of your current dreams. The one that jumps off the page and smacks you right between the eyes and makes you begin to cry is your purpose.
Honor this one and respect it. And if you give it permission, it will change your life and bring the happiness you deserve.
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18 Responses to “Two Things We Want Most”
What do you think?
very inspirational…and I wish your daughter the best! Her goal is admirable
Thanks Meredith – I will pass your wishes along!
Alex,
I have been working diligently in incorporating purpose in my life. The things that I am passionate about and my career were not mixing although there are some overlays. For example I love to educate and that is the purpose of my blog. Regarding happiness I really get hung up on the difference between “happiness” and “joy.” Being happy and joyful bring two very different meanings. I think that you did a great job of defining happiness (temporary feeling that comes and goes). Like James says Consider it pure “JOY” when trials come as it is an opportunity for growth and endurance. I think he is saying we cant pretend to be “happy” during trials or we remain joyful because we have been given an opportunity to learn to persevere as you stated. I really enjoy what you write. It challenges and it comes from the heart. Keep writing. Nice Job!
Really admire your daughter’s decision. And I am happy that you support it.
I know that most parents, are so wrapped up in money they sometimes, fail to see what their child’s purpose and motivation is for what they like to do.
Good post..stumbled.. I hope more people read this.
Very powerful stuff. My sense of purpose is to help in some way to make the world a better place for everyone else and those to come.
Very insightful. And I agree, we all want happiness and purpose. But to achieve those two things, we only need to approach one being – God. He already has an eternal purpose prepared for us which will bring us everlasting happiness. There is a reason why my favorite Gospel writer is John.
@ JC: I also believe God has a purpose for each of us. It will be up to us, because of Free Will, to choose to pursue our life’s purpose, or not. Thanks for sharing.
Hello Alex
You have put forward an interesting point of view that opens the mind and allows for deeper thought on what makes us as people and the individual amoungst us happy. The understanding of gratitude and what enriches the soul through the choice of being here and what the soul recieves from our choices as people, its choices as the connection to the devine and the combined choice of the individual with the soul in symbiosys for the understanding of experience and gnosis to enrich the being in this place we call earth/home. Thank you and best wishes to your daughter, your wife and those in your life. may you all be blessed.
Jonathan
Hi Alex,
I agree with Meredith and Shamelle that your daughter is truly admirable.
It’s a sad truth that when it comes to choosing the career choice, a lot of people would pursue a career that promises good money. It’s not a bad thing that your career promises good money, but it’s bad if that’s your only consideration.
Money being the sole motivation is not going to last you long. You’ll soon find yourself running out of steam before you even make your first pot of gold.
I’d wish more people would think the same way as your daughter. And I’d like to applaud you for being such an understanding and supportive parent. Your daughter is very fortunate to a dad like you.
Cheers~
Mark
The 2 things I wish for most is to understand why things happen the way they do and what to do about them after that.
Have a nice 4th of July weekend.
@ Jonathan: Good point about the importance of a “soul connection.”
@ Mark: Thank you for your encouragement.
@ DMC: Me too, sometimes. But when I can’t find understanding, I surrender it and try to keep moving forward.
i think to say psychologists are wrong, in itself is wrong, it comes down to an understanding of what pleasure is to the individual.
to try our bests to experience happiness and find purpose, whatever happiness and purpose maybe to the individual is to experience pleasure and avoid pain. happiness is a form of pleasure after all, purpose brings happiness in to our lives… and so those two things still add up to the basics of what psychologists suggest.
unfortunately i think too many people attempt to experience pleasure in a more basic, material and physical way, which is where people get lost and so psychologists come up with the theory.
as always, your post (and especially the last one) is strangely relevant to my life and things i am going through, so thank you.
Fantastic Alex!! I am a huge believer in finding and fulfilling your purpose. I feel as though life is not worth living if you are not pursuing and accomplishing the very reason you exist.
@ Neil: Thanks for stopping by, reading and sharing your thoughts – they are always welcome.
@ Ralph: Glad to have you a part of the journey with me.
I agree with you. People can’t live without a purpose. Unlike animals who already get satisfied with food and bodily needs, man has higher needs like happiness and having a purposeful life. In times when we can’t find it, it seems like a curse. But in truth, our need for it is a blessing, because together with that need is the capacity to achieve great things.
Daddy i love reading your site i started today.
wow its awesome you do a great job. I really miss you i cant wait to see you on thrusday or what ever day it is. how are the pups well any way i love you and miss u.
love always from the only weone!
@ Emily: Miss you too, Baby. Can’t wait until Thursday!
Very true and inspirational article. I’ve enjoyed much!