How to Avoid a Tiger-Like Fall from Grace
The fall from grace is steep and swift, and when you land, it does not make a sound, because you are alone. Cari Williams
Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.
Tiger Woods is attempting a comeback – both to golf and to grace, I suppose.
Only a few months after his public apology, Tiger will be teeing it up at the Masters Golf Tournament. Perhaps no other celebrity has fallen so hard or so fast. Because his personal tragedy was of his own doing, there is probably little sympathy that corporate sponsors have bailed and some believe his super-star status will be tarnished forever.
Regardless if you think Tiger has been punished too much or too little, most would agree his fall from grace has been spectacular. And no matter your point-of-view, you can benefit from Tiger’s mega-celebrity status because you have the opportunity to see how a life once filled with so much promise can implode in an instant. More than that, you can learn how to avoid your own fall from grace when temptation is encouraging you to take a bite, too:
- Acknowledge what tempts you most.
Somewhere in the darkest part of your soul lives the thoughts you try to keep from seeing the light of day. These thoughts are what you sometimes ignore, or even deny, but they are a part of you just like the color of your eyes. Recognize these temptations and their potential to influence your judgment. Realize your greatest influence over these thoughts is in your acknowledgment of them. - Appreciate what you have.
What you have today can be lost by tomorrow. One bad decision; one lapse in judgment can change everything. Your life may not be perfect, but at least it’s a life you can work on each day. By succumbing to temptation, you are jeopardizing the opportunity to give yourself, and your life, a fighting chance to be what you want it to be. - Understand the double-edged nature of Free Will.
Free Will provides the freedom to do what you want with your life; it also provides the means to really screw things up. Free Will makes you uniquely human and allows the opportunity to make decisions based on how you want to live; it can also cause you to fall and to fall hard. Bad things happen when the decisions are poor ones. Free Will is a gift intended to empower you – use its power wisely. - Don’t trust in your strength to resist.
In the right circumstance, with just the right influencers, and at the perfect moment, your ability to resist temptation may not exist. Resistance is best built around knowing what to avoid and when to avoid it. Build your strength by becoming more aware of the type of Kryptonite that lives in your soul. - Seek help.
The enemy of your soul is not alone is his assault. He is armed with the knowledge of what has caused pain in the past and how fragile your self-confidence can be. Even the playing field by asking for help. Ask a friend to be an accountability partner, seek spiritual advice, or talk with someone who is trained to provide guidance. You are not alone. Reach out and allow yourself to receive strength from others. - Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want someone to know about.
A reliable test to determine if you should refrain from a particular act is to project how someone close to you would react if the incident became known to them. If the answer is unfavorable, then you have the answer. - Temptation happens incrementally.
A fall from grace doesn’t happen in an instance. It is a gradual and sometimes methodical process. Temptation begins with thoughts and then moves to one destructive behavior building upon another until the ante is raised to the point of no return.Don’t ignore the thoughts as they enter your mind. They are early-warning signs that need to be recognized and then managed using the positive resources around you.
- Forgiveness does not restore the status quo.
Tiger Wood’s may be forgiven, but that doesn’t necessarily mean his lost sponsors will want him back. Forgiveness does not imply an automatic restoration of privileges and way of life.Most people provide forgiveness whey they have been hurt, and a small percentage allow the offender the opportunity to resume the status quo afterwards. Think before you act and determine how meaningful the status quo is – even in the presence of forgiveness.
A return to grace
Next month the world will witness Tiger’s comeback. His swing may be rusty, his putting not as crisp and his ability to focus, compete and win could be a little shaky. But, at least he will be trying to reinvent himself and start over.
Tiger Woods’ return might be best measured not by his score at the Masters, but by his acts of contrition and humility. Tiger can’t undo the past, but he can continue to ask for forgiveness and promise himself, his family and his God to sin no more.
Perhaps what we can learn most from Tiger is how to avoid a similar fall from grace so we can save ourselves and our families from similar pain. So, I will be rooting for Tiger next month not because I condone what it did, but because he is trying to restore grace.
Time will tell for Tiger and for the rest of us, too.
Elsewhere
Be sure to catch my interview at BlogCastFM. Find out how I got started in blogging, my short-term and long-term goals for The BridgeMaker and how I draw the fine line between being transparent and overly personal. Click here to listen to the interview.
Special thanks to Srinivas Rao of BlogCastFM for interviewing me.
Image courtesy of Anthony Bellemare
More from The BridgeMaker
Alex Blackwell is the Founder of The BridgeMaker. His book, How to Love Consciously, is now available as a free download here. Join Alex and The BridgeMaker community on Facebook and don’t forget to get your free subscription to receive free updates and exclusive content.
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Comments
13 Responses to “How to Avoid a Tiger-Like Fall from Grace”
What do you think?
If only my son would heed this wisdom!!! Thanks for sharing. Great article. Deb
Alex, thank you for reminding us of our humanity and most importantly, thanks for reminding us that we have choices and the ability (with the help of others and self awareness) that we could overcome temptations. Thank you for the tools.
@ Deb: Remember, wisdom takes time.
@ Dornella: Even though temptation exists, I would never trade our ability to make choices over temptation going away forever. Thanks for stopping by!
You beat me to the punch on this one Alex! Was actually going to do an article on Tiger, but you have put all my thoughts together already! All great points man. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want someone to know about.” I like that quote a lot. It goes for everything and sometimes it takes seeing it happen to really understand.
@ Alex: I think it would cool if you went forward with your article. There are so many worthwhile lessons here.
Yeah, I think Tiger’s fall from grace reveals just how important it is for us to establish a strong inner foundation first and foremost…It is interesting that in one of his most recent interviews he said that one reason he got off track was because he stopped meditating and went away from his core values.
This is the best article I’ve seen on Tiger and his fall.
As a previous addictions counselor I believe Tiger is beginning golf wwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy to soon. With his money he could afford the best residential treatment on the planet. Instead golf will be his main focus once again.
Each and every point you made is so true. Keep writing because he’s not making treatment no. 1 and it’s only a matter of time before he relapses.
Great post!
@ Matt: You are so right. We need that foundation, that rock to help keep us on solid ground when we are feeling shaky.
@ Tess: I feel it is too soon for him as well. Golf must be healing for him, but it can also be a place to hide and not do the hard work.
There’s an humbling experience that comes with falling from grace especially when you’re such a huge public figure like Tiger Woods.
These are great tips that you’ve share Alex! I especially like Acknowledging temptation, Appreciation for what you have, and seeking help. One of the first parts to healing and recovery is acknowledging the problem, acknowledging the temptation.
It takes an humble spirit to be able to do so. It takes breaking ourselves down so that we can grow and mature. I am in total agreement with your ideas.
Thanks so much,
Jarrod
I agree with all your points. Though it may sound a little too self-righteous, we shouldn’t really be doing something that we know is wrong. Sure we are human and we make mistakes. But we were given brains in on top of our head and not below our feet so we can stop and think first before doing something we’d regret. Someone once told me that in every action you take you must think about it 7 times. Think about the consequences it could bring. Think of how many people you will hurt if you do this. Remember trust takes a lifetime to build and it only takes a second to destroy.
Alex,
I don’t see golf as healing for him. I see it as his ego distracting his recovery. (If he did it privately and with close friends or other recovering addicts it could be healing…) Until then nope!
@ Jarrod: So true, humility is the first step to contrition. Glad to have you part of the conversation Jarrod.
@ Megan: Never heard of the “7 times,” strategy before but I think it would be an effective way to think about our actions before its too late.
@ Tess: I don’t disagree. My thought is he may “think” it is a place for healing, but the reality of it may point to the fact that golf could only be serving as a temporary escape.
Thanks for your excellent article. Very helpful.
Everyone should read it.
Here are a few of my thoughts.
Tiger Woods is not a hero. He is a golfer.
He is also, more importantly, a husband and a father. He forgot what was most important.
Someone has wisely said: “The greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.” How true.
If love is anything, it is loyal.”
“The essence of LOVE is LOYALTY.”
“God is LOVE.”
“God is LOYAL LOVE.” (HESED)
With thanks,
Bill Gassett
Crescendo Ministries
John 3:30 “He must increase, I must decrease.”