The Secret to Becoming a Positive & Vibrant Person | The BridgeMaker

The Secret to Becoming a Positive & Vibrant Person

By on Nov 25, 2012


Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. – Maria Robinson

“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now. Sorry.” I read those words like they were bullets to my heart. Each and every one of them.

Here I was sitting in a little internet cafe at 4 p.m. in the middle of Paris and I had just had my heart ripped in half by a guy who was thousands of miles away.

I cried silently to myself as a walked through the historical streets of Paris back to my hotel. Of course I didn’t pay attention to any of the beauty that surrounded me; I was too busy going over every single detail of this (rather short) relationship that had just ended.

This wasn’t the first time things had ended like this with a person either. But for some reason, this one hurt the most.

I wish I could say that it was because I was so in love with him and it turned out that he was actually ‘the one,’ but the truth is my past had finally caught up to me and now it was time to face myself – whether I liked it or not.

I went to one of the bridges on the River Seine and I contemplated my life.

The pain was unbearable and my vision of Paris had become clouded with hurt, anger and heartbreak. I hated Paris. I hated that guy for ruining my trip to Paris. I hated the guys before me for being the same. I hated how I always got hit with bad luck. I hated my life. I hated myself.

And with that deep and powerful statement it was like a roar inside me unleashed. Like something I just said had awoken the lioness within. It was like ‘Super Awesome & Wise Elise’ took over and said…

This is not who you are. Who you are is an incredible, powerful and unique human being. You know you can have the real happiness you deserve, you know you can become your dream version of yourself and you know that you can have every single thing you want in life…”

And after all of that, I felt my little girl voice inside whisper, “But… how do I do that?”

“You must put yourself first.”

Suddenly, a little glimmer of hope flickered in my heart and for the first time I felt like there was a way. It was like all of a sudden I knew what to do. It would take time, but it would be worth it. I didn’t want to hate myself anymore and I was ready to work for it.

This is what I started doing (and what you can do as well) to start living a happy and vibrant life.

Fill Your Mind With New Knowledge

I started researching and gathering information through books and blogs about happiness, self-love and fears. I found that a lot of the information was the same, just re-worded differently which was great because it meant that this stuff wasn’t hard.

I compiled all the information and broke it down into points that I could understand and read constantly. I put it all into a journal so that whenever I needed the inspiration or whenever I felt like those feelings were creeping back I’d have a counter mechanism set up to stop those feelings.

Is there a book you’ve seen that you wouldn’t mind reading? Get it! You deserve to learn whatever valuable bit of information that is in there. Don’t you dare deprive yourself of anything you want!

Re-Align Your Focus

I learned to put my focus and my attention back onto myself. Scratch that, I forced myself to focus my attention on myself. I let go of the world and everything in it and I went out and did what I wanted to do. And I tell ya, there’s nothing more fun than letting go of everything to go have fun!

I started playing tennis again, I learned how to dance, I volunteered at the SPCA, I made crafts, I read books I really wanted to read, I drank coffee in beautiful cafes, I napped during the day, I went on self dates to the beach and the movies and I had so much fun!

You can do this too. Just let go of the reigns you have on everything else and just hold yours. You can go anywhere and do anything now because there is no restriction whatsoever!

Create Your Own Rituals

I started practising self-love daily through books, journaling, affirmations, meditation, hobbies, exercises and EFT. I came up with the idea of creating a morning ritual because I liked the idea of setting up your day.

Create your own daily ritual and see what it does for you. It can be anything from drinking a delicious cup of ginger and lemon tea while listening to some soothing music or it could be taking 20 minutes to meditate and eating a delicious fruity snack.

Treat Yourself Like A Queen

I had never once thought about myself as someone you had to treat with respect and kindness. I just didn’t think people did that. Since when did you have to care about yourself?

Boy was I wrong about that!

Start treating yourself like the queen that you are. You deserve to be pampered, dated (even if it’s solo) and treated with goodies. You deserve flowers everyday so start treating yourself like you do!

Forgiveness is Freeing

I began to forgive myself and the people of my past for the things we did to each other. Even if it was something unforgiveable that completely went against my values, I forgave with all my heart.

I said, “I forgive you, I’m sorry, I love you” and I released the pain out to the universe for it to take care of.

Of all the things I did I think this step was one of the most important ones. I felt so much lighter, like I was free again. Don’t you want that feeling as well?

Give Your Love Away

I sent love and warm fuzzies to the people I love. I gave it away for free to everyone and anyone anywhere – on the street, in the mall, driving past, behind the counter and on Facebook. I sent them my love and in return love started following me around!

Start with one person in particular for the day and just send them constant love and warm fuzzies. They may even contact you because they ‘thought of you’. Keep doing this until it becomes second nature and your life will seriously become uber vibrant!

Visualize The Good

I focused on my future and what I wanted to happen in it. If something wasn’t going the way I wanted it to I would take my focus off it and zip off to where I wanted to be in my mind. I instantly become excited and happy and forgot about whatever it was I was moody about!

This is a powerful exercise in attention and perception. Next time you find yourself getting frustrated about something, force yourself to think about something you love and keep thinking about it until you feel better. Guaranteed it’ll be quick!

Put Yourself First.

You can’t change your life if you don’t put your wellbeing first. That is the core secret to becoming a positive and vibrant person. You’ve gotta do it, you are worth it and you deserve to have a phenomenal vibrant life!

Elise McDowell, creator of the The Inner Vibrance Project, helps Gen-Y women discover their vibrancy, power & allure through self-love practices & spiritual swag. Join The Inner Vibrance Project for free tips on living a vibrant life or connect with Elise on facebook and twitter for an extra boost of positivity!

  • shirly

    i love this! putting our awesome self first!!!! and it works cos your article is one of my best moment today! thank you elise! xoxo

    • Aw Shirly that is FANTASTIC to hear! And in turn your just made my day awesome!xx