The Giving Effect | The BridgeMaker

The Giving Effect

By on Jul 03, 2013


When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous. – Wayne Dyer

Years ago my Darling One and I took a seminar on money. It was a freebie and it sounded like a fun weekend and we were hoping to discover what our financial personality types were.

Okay, we were hoping to see that they weren’t what we thought they might be.

No such luck. Turns out the reflections of our world are spot on, every time, all the time.

How could they not be…that’s the whole point of the fantastic system of checks and balances that we move, operate and have our being in. So trust me when I say don’t bother trying to prove you’re not who the reflection of your life says you are…it’s a mug’s game.

Whilst that part of the seminar didn’t turn out quite as we wanted we both discovered something fabulous. And it all started with tithing. No, not the kind of tithing we usually think of. This was tithing to ourselves.


What kind of concept is that when it’s at home, you might well ask.

It’s the principle of plenty. The pathway to the giving effect.

One of the principles was creating an account, or a container (we chose giant jars) for fun projects or experiences or evenings out…things you definitely don’t need but might just want.

Doing this sends a message that we have more than we need and what began as a little experiment turned into paying attention to the giving way of life.

As we began to occupy a greater prosperity consciousness we discovered the giving effect was about more than the money. It was about giving as the angels give, with the gift of a loving thought.

It isn’t difficult to start the giving effect and the rewards are humongous.

Give What’s Truly Valuable

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

Give recognition instead of praise

How sweet the sound of praise. But for many of us, we became praise junkies…always looking for the next fix.

As kids we were usually praised for ‘being’ good. We were told, we were good when we behaved in an acceptable way. Implication being we weren’t good when we behaved less than well.

And we spent a good deal of our childhood wanting to please our parents until it became deeply embedded in our subconscious and, for some, it became a necessity to please people in order to get a fix of praise. In order to feel good about who they were.

On the other hand the gift of recognition isn’t a value judgment about the kind of person we are, it’s being accepted, not for something we did, but for who we are. We all want to feel worthy regardless of whether we measure up to someone’s standards. And we can support that by giving recognition.

Give a second chance

Sometimes people just mess up. Imperfect as we all are with the ability to manipulate, cheat, lie, steal, betray, it isn’t too hard to be aware that at some point in our life each and every one of us has made mistakes.

Giving second chances means accepting our human frailties and you might remember that compassion and forgiveness and understanding in our hearts relaxes our very DNA and a relaxed DNA is a great immune system booster.

That’s a win/win.

Second chances, forgiveness, call them what you will is so much more than giving up revenge, it’s the awakening of the highest and loveliest part of us, our sacred consciousness.

A spiritual practice

None of these gifts are a one off; they’re intended to become a spiritual practice, a higher way of living. a way of using our imagination for the greatest good, identifying others with the ideal they would wish to embody.

There’s plenty more gifts we can give, I’ve got tons of ideas myself, and whilst we can brainstorm ways to join in the giving effect, what really matters is just getting started. Just do it.

Got big plans for making an impact on the lives of millions? Have at it, pursue them. And meanwhile begin the little daily giving effect. A smile will do the trick, or a friendly word. No act of giving is too small.

Oh yes, begin with you. That’s how we started – with a glass jar.

Are you ready to join the party? How does the ‘giving effect’ show up in your world?

Share your concept in Comments below and you might touch the lives of innumerable folks across the globe in ways you haven’t yet dreamed of.

Elle Sommer is the founder of Reflecting A Life, where each week she shares actionable wisdom that points the way towards living a richer life in relationships, finances and spirit. Elle's mission is to motivate and encourage you to create the life you want.

  • Revdore

    Delightful, I first learned this lesson by reading the wonderful little book “the Richest Man in Babylon”. You said it better!

    • Loved that book too Dore…I should pull it from the bookshelf and take another look…it’s been a long time since I read it. And thank you for your kind words.

  • Wonderful post, Elle. Beautiful words to explain the concept of giving. Thanks!

    • Thanks Cathy for taking the time to comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

  • joychristin

    I *love* this! Sometimes mind thinks “you have nothing” but you look around your space and there is so much abundance to share. For example, the kids and I just moved into new living space, which would be small to most people, but we have an extra sleeping spot so list it on Couchsurfers..people are so grateful. But I do know well-placed kind words and gratitude are just as meaningful (sometimes more so) than anything tangible one might share.

    • Thanks for sharing your insights and experiences Joy…what a lovely phrase ‘well-placed kind words’. I’m happy you enjoyed the post and truly appreciate you stopping by to leave a comment.

  • Whale

    It was a relief reading your words. I’ve been stuck. struggling with exactly what you wrote about. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your words were just what I needed.


    • Thanks Whale you encourage me with your kind words and I’m happy I encouraged you. 🙂

  • Susan

    It feels so good to give…thank you Elle for reminding me.

    • Thanks for joining in the conversation Susan…so appreciate you stopping by.