The Giving Effect | The BridgeMaker

The Giving Effect

By on Jul 03, 2013


When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous. – Wayne Dyer

Years ago my Darling One and I took a seminar on money. It was a freebie and it sounded like a fun weekend and we were hoping to discover what our financial personality types were.

Okay, we were hoping to see that they weren’t what we thought they might be.

No such luck. Turns out the reflections of our world are spot on, every time, all the time.

How could they not be…that’s the whole point of the fantastic system of checks and balances that we move, operate and have our being in. So trust me when I say don’t bother trying to prove you’re not who the reflection of your life says you are…it’s a mug’s game.

Whilst that part of the seminar didn’t turn out quite as we wanted we both discovered something fabulous. And it all started with tithing. No, not the kind of tithing we usually think of. This was tithing to ourselves.


What kind of concept is that when it’s at home, you might well ask.

It’s the principle of plenty. The pathway to the giving effect.

One of the principles was creating an account, or a container (we chose giant jars) for fun projects or experiences or evenings out…things you definitely don’t need but might just want.

Doing this sends a message that we have more than we need and what began as a little experiment turned into paying attention to the giving way of life.

As we began to occupy a greater prosperity consciousness we discovered the giving effect was about more than the money. It was about giving as the angels give, with the gift of a loving thought.

It isn’t difficult to start the giving effect and the rewards are humongous.

Give What’s Truly Valuable

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

Give recognition instead of praise

How sweet the sound of praise. But for many of us, we became praise junkies…always looking for the next fix.

As kids we were usually praised for ‘being’ good. We were told, we were good when we behaved in an acceptable way. Implication being we weren’t good when we behaved less than well.

And we spent a good deal of our childhood wanting to please our parents until it became deeply embedded in our subconscious and, for some, it became a necessity to please people in order to get a fix of praise. In order to feel good about who they were.

On the other hand the gift of recognition isn’t a value judgment about the kind of person we are, it’s being accepted, not for something we did, but for who we are. We all want to feel worthy regardless of whether we measure up to someone’s standards. And we can support that by giving recognition.

Give a second chance

Sometimes people just mess up. Imperfect as we all are with the ability to manipulate, cheat, lie, steal, betray, it isn’t too hard to be aware that at some point in our life each and every one of us has made mistakes.

Giving second chances means accepting our human frailties and you might remember that compassion and forgiveness and understanding in our hearts relaxes our very DNA and a relaxed DNA is a great immune system booster.

That’s a win/win.

Second chances, forgiveness, call them what you will is so much more than giving up revenge, it’s the awakening of the highest and loveliest part of us, our sacred consciousness.

A spiritual practice

None of these gifts are a one off; they’re intended to become a spiritual practice, a higher way of living. a way of using our imagination for the greatest good, identifying others with the ideal they would wish to embody.

There’s plenty more gifts we can give, I’ve got tons of ideas myself, and whilst we can brainstorm ways to join in the giving effect, what really matters is just getting started. Just do it.

Got big plans for making an impact on the lives of millions? Have at it, pursue them. And meanwhile begin the little daily giving effect. A smile will do the trick, or a friendly word. No act of giving is too small.

Oh yes, begin with you. That’s how we started – with a glass jar.

Are you ready to join the party? How does the ‘giving effect’ show up in your world?

Share your concept in Comments below and you might touch the lives of innumerable folks across the globe in ways you haven’t yet dreamed of.

Elle Sommer is the founder of Reflecting A Life, where each week she shares actionable wisdom that points the way towards living a richer life in relationships, finances and spirit. Elle's mission is to motivate and encourage you to create the life you want.

  • Sahand

    Thank you Elle, the “wise woman” story really impressed me… I love your post 🙂

  • Sandy Green

    Thank you so much for reminding me to give to myself. This was very inspirational!

    • Thank you Sandy…your comments inspire me! 🙂

  • Beautiful post, Elle! I loved the story of the wise woman with the stone. In my world, I grew up with the giving effect. I have two big boxes at home where I add things at random. Each time I leave the house, I pick up something(s) to give away. Giving is on my mind whenever I think of stepping out the front door. My idea of prosperity is a full heart.

    Thank you!

    Thank you, Alex. Hugs!

    • What a wonderful idea for giving Vidya…I’m going to have to get myself a box to add things at random. And having giving on your mind each time you leave the house is a wonderful thing and a great way to have more wonderful things arrive in your world at the same time. It’s a win/win universe. 🙂

  • Emilia

    I was about 40 when I realized that one of my oldest
    believes is completely operating my life. It was the famous “I am Not Enough”.
    Because of this simple – and NOW I know – false belief I didn’t know how to
    love, respect and accept myself. It took
    me some time to realize that those four words are nothing else but Simple Four Words.
    I was the one who put meaning behind them based on my childhood experiences. I
    have to say that my daily spiritual practice was/is essential in order to transform
    my life, but as I always say first thing is awareness. When I was able to love
    myself, suddenly it was much easier to love, accept, forgive and understand
    others. It was such a miracle. Somehow my life became much easier with less and
    less drama. From now on I never say that anything is impossible. “Impossible”
    is just an opinion not a fact. Everything begins within. Thank you so much for
    your beautiful post. Love, E 🙂

    • Thanks Emilia for taking the time to stop by and share your insights and perspectives. You are so right when you say everything begins within. How wonderful that you’re life has become so much easier with less drama, I think that can be said for all of us! 🙂