Streamlining Passion: How to Create Joy by Cutting Back
Joy is the feeling of grinning inside. – Melba Colgrove
Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Alex Fayle of Someday Syndrome.
I don’t know about you, but I have a whole multitude of interests. They include writing, teaching, coaching, blogging, family time and travel. Last year I tried to do all of them. I taught English, blogged almost daily, ran a business that coached people on their Somedays and produced ebooks on the topic. I spent as much time as possible relaxing with my partner and we travelled to various places around Spain and to Canada to visit family for Christmas.
By the end of the year, I was frustrated by lack of progress in too many areas of my life. I had increased my debt and only saw more of the same. With my blog and business on the edge of expanding exponentially, I realized I had to make a decision. Was this what I really wanted? Was I doing what I really loved?
The answer was a very confusing “yes and no” which was completely unhelpful.
Helping people break through the barriers that held them back from finding happiness gave me a jolt of energy and pride every time I got an email thanking me but the business took a lot of time and required a constant reinvestment of income to keep it growing.
I got a short story published, finished the first draft of my second novel and had started my third but too often I put writing second (or third or fourth) to other demands.
Teaching English gave me some extra income but due to the part-time nature it was never consistent. I had plenty of time as well for my partner and for travelling but the constant feeling of “I should be doing something for my business or with my writing” kept me from really enjoying myself.
I had a bunch of positives and a bunch of negatives facing me and as December drew to a close the negatives reached an unbearable level.
Organizing My Life
So, I went back to basics. I swept everything off the table as it were and created two mental baskets – “Do I need it?” and “Do I love it?” into which everything in my life would get sorted (or get tossed). These two questions are the same I ask myself when clearing out the physical clutter in my life and I use the same technique to create a calm organized physical environment as well as a focused passion-filled emotional state.
Ever since I was twelve years old, I’ve wanted to be a writer so that one fit into both categories. If I don’t write I get twitchy, cranky and life seems dull and drab, making it a need and a love. Right after writing comes my partner, who I adore utterly, putting him wholly on the love side.
Next, my need for income that would not only pay my living expenses by cut down my debts came up for inspection. Not necessarily something I love, but definitely a strong need. Between continuing my business and teaching English in a more permanent situation, teaching won as a more secure income source that didn’t cost me to maintain.
Stepping back I noticed that my baskets were looking kind of full. Writing, boyfriend and near full-time teaching. So where did that leave coaching, blogging and helping people with their Somedays?
Outside of the basket. Outside of my true passions and therefore out of my life.
Avoiding Temptation
“But things were on the edge of exploding in a good way!” some people said to me but that didn’t matter to me. Once I had looked at the situation clearly and with an eye on my true passions, the decision made itself. I had already chosen and felt only excitement about the coming year with a leaner more defined focus and passion.
And the rightness of this decision proved itself when Sheri over at Serene Journey named Someday Syndrome as the number one blog to watch in 2010 and Jade from Problogger said that if it weren’t for my decision to cut back on blogging Someday Syndrome would have been included in the Problogger top blogs to watch.
Did I feel regret? Did I want to dive back into blogging and take advantage of this potential fame?
Not on your life. I only felt relief at having dodged a bullet. If this had come up before making my decision, I might have been tempted to continue with a heavy focus on Someday Syndrome, pushing either my writing or my relationship out of the need/love baskets. But it would have been false and only happening because of the opinions of others and not because I honestly felt most passionate about my coaching and blogging.
Measuring Results
A month into my new focus on life and I’ve never been happier. My writing has leapt forward and I’m calling 2010 the year I go professional as a fiction writer (whether or not I get a book deal, I’m considering my profession as “author”). I’ve taken on more teaching hours and end the day full of energy and excitement to get up and start the next day.
Why? Because I’m doing what I love most. Yes, I have more interests and more passions that my schedule may allow for, but I don’t regret the new focused turn in my life. I nearly have the life I considered I pictured as perfect when I was a child and there are very few people who can look back at their childhood dreams and say they’re living them.
And that’s all the proof I need.
Alex Fayle, of Someday Syndrome, is a former procrastinator who uses his visionary ability to uncover hidden patterns and help you break the procrastination obstacle so that you can finally find freedom and start living the life you desire. Learn more about how you can start loving life again at SomedaySyndrome.com.
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Comments
13 Responses to “Streamlining Passion: How to Create Joy by Cutting Back”
What do you think?
Were you reading about me? Having a lot of interests is sometimes difficult to deal with.My blogs are not famous,but I love them as I love my family ,being an English teacher,counselor , glass artist and why not writer.I also have to pay bills and sometimes this keeps me a bit stuck in my evolution, but I know that I have something to give to others and it’s what I love doing and that is Being me with all my interests and love
Thanks for giving me strength to continue
What an honest and inspiring article. I had no idea where you would go with it. And wondered if you would get waylaid by the “momentary thrill” of being tops in Problogger. When you didn’t and you let that go and the “acclaim” that might have come with it — for a MUCH BIGGER and fundamentally YOU dream — you just expanded your horizons a 1000+ fold. To infinity. The sky is the limit.
There are many things that can waylay us on the path to fully “becoming” our deepest most wildest dreams. It is not always the naysayers, setbacks, financial concerns, and so on. It can be something that tugs at our egos, our desire to be seen as “somebody” great! When in fact we may actually be GREATER and larger than the current praise or recognition we are being given.
Reading this post THRILLED me because you saw this and you are going for the GREATER dream, the greatest dream…yourself and ALL that entails.
I know this path well and just signed a book contract for my book about my life in the Australian jungle when I was younger. I too am learning to let go that which waylays me…even when it is very cool, and might be fun, and might give me recognition, and might make me feel seen and might and might and might. AND that may all be true. But in thrilling over the reflection of the trees in the mud puddle I have missed an entire forest.
And it’s not that reflections aren’t ASTOUNDING and beautiful…and even an honor. I have photographed many of them. But I think your greatness is SO great that you hunger to LIVE the gold that you ALREADY ARE. If this is a sample of your writing then I say, “Rock and Roll”. You have everything you need within you. No doubts about that. And as long as you don’t stop you will get where you want to go.
I wish you well on your remarkable journey.
Robin Easton
Beautiful Alex
The temptations can be so seductive for reasons that seem logical and yet, when we ignore our passions, needs, desires, and soul calling, life lacks that amazingly wonderful depth and meaning that brings abaundance and joy. Kudos to you!
Your joy pops right off the page
Blessings,
Lorraine
Good read Alex. There is something exciting about following your heart when others are telling you not to. So glad to hear that you are following your passion.
It has been my experience too. When I cut down on my commitments, I found that I had more space to delve deeper into my own thoughts. I ended learning so much more, and in the process had so much more to give in terms of my content to readers. Thumbs up to deciding the best way forward for yourself! Much success to you always!
I need to do this Do I need It and Do I love it with my office. I can eliminate quite a few books and other stuff!
I like how you prioritized. You gotta do what you gotta do. Downsizing and the simple life make creating your dreams a lot easier!
Very nice read.
I’ve been trying to find my passion and focus in my life as well. I was reading a book by Tony Robbins and he was talking about being overwhelmed in his life. He realized that a year ago he would have be grateful to have some many “Problems” which were actually just many opportunities he had to deal with. Sounds like you have made some great choices that will lead to more joy and peace. Very exciting!
Good luck with the new focus!
@Patricia
Sounds like you have a lot of interests and energy – you might find the book Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher useful – it focuses on people with “too many” interests.
@Robin
Congrats on the book contract. You mention ego which is what always gets me in trouble. Pride, stubbornness, being offended, and fear are almost always ego-related and when I manage to put the ego aside I sail through life. Good luck on your own remarkable journey!
@Lorraine
Glad to read that you could see my joy – I thought I was happy before but now I can barely contain it. And it definitely comes through in all my writing.
@Ralph
I’m very fortunate in that I don’t have many naysayers. I’ve constructed my life so that I only have positive supports. It’s made life much easier and more rewarding.
@Evelyn
Sometimes I feel guilty about cutting back on commitments but I’m learning to be selfish and say “I’m pleasing myself first!” And by doing that I please others too.
@Tess
Those two questions are all you need to get yourself organized. They even help you decide where to put things – the more you love or need something the closer at hand it goes. Good luck with your office!
@Matt
Yes, I feel very fortunately that my “problems” included having to decide which rewarding and successful path to follow.
Alex, I am so glad to hear you are doing what you love most. You are right that we have needs to attend to, but when we neglect our love far worst things can happen. I am glad to see you are still following your passions. Keep that spirit alive!
Most of the time, we make the mistake of catering too much commitments that we feel lost and overwhelmed. What you did takes courage and clarity to implement. I’m glad you have sorted yours.
Thanks Steven! It’s amazing how my happiness has increased exponentially by changing my focus just in this one way.
Thanks Walter! Building up to the decision was difficult, but in the it just made sense.
Wow, Alex, I love this!
Your article particularly resonated with me because my blog is called “Following Your Joy.” And I have found that “joy” really is simple–it’s not about getting caught-up in the busy-ness of life or having a bunch of ‘things’ going on. It’s about stripping away the extras and focusing on what’s really, really important.
Kudos to you for having the courage to do what you love most. Awesome!
Rock on, and continued best wishes to you!
Michelle