Stop Forcing and Start Flowing | The BridgeMaker

Stop Forcing and Start Flowing

By on Aug 09, 2012


If you have a lemon, make lemonade. – Howard Luck Gossage

Everyone has watched an infant playing with wooden blocks trying his or her hardest to force the triangle into the square hole or the circle into the rectangular one and then crying when the blocks don’t produce the desired results.

It is uncanny how are lives sometimes parallel that of that particular infant. He or she sits there exhausted and unsatisfied with nothing accomplished.

We sometimes keep forcing certain issues time and time again expecting different results. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different to occur. So let’s break out of this insane cycle and start going along with the flow of things.

Utilizing the things around you

My definition of going with the flow is different than the universally accepted one. It doesn’t involve being easily influenced by outside forces or going where the wind may push you. I think it is so important to work with the grain.

One of the best examples is the average factory worker who works with a lot of machinery. The young, strong worker isn’t always the one who is the most efficient and produces the best work. It is sometimes the seasoned veteran who’s been working in that factory for a while who moves with astonishing efficiency and is almost one with his machine.

The veteran worker wastes little to no effort in his movements and is cerebral with the way he goes about his work. This worker does not grow tired as easily as the overzealous youngster. I think that is where we all need to get with our lifestyle and the things that surround us.

It is important to assess the things around you and learn to use them in your favor. When things are going well it is easy to use that wave of positive energy and momentum to do great things, but just as the cliché says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

You Don’t Have to Tell Me Twice

As an eighteen year old dreamer and enthusiast, I know a thing or two about trying to force the issue; it is definitely a teenage habit.

At my age, we are constantly trying to discover the things we are good at and most of the time that involves wishing we were good in a field someone we know is particularly talented. Unfortunately, the most success is found when one uncovers the thing that makes them unique.

For a long time, I wanted to be like my friends who were very talented dancers and were heavily admired for their abilities. So, I practiced and trained but after a while a came to the conclusion that maybe dancing wasn’t my thing.

My friend James told me that the cool thing about me was that I could speak to people and give them the power to do things they thought they couldn’t.

For me, that was the light bulb that needed to off to know I was putting all of my energy into trying to do something that didn’t come naturally. Motivating people is and was always my thing; I just failed to realize that before my friend imparted that knowledge on me. Since then I haven’t had to think about what I wanted to both do in life or what makes me truly happy.

The key to being great and living a fulfilled life is not to try to be good at everything and anything but to find out what comes easily and using it to make a difference. No one brushes his or her hair against the grain so why not live life in the same manner.

Those Darn Obstacles

Don’t see that obstacle that stands in your way as the end-all-be-all in your route to happiness and success. Yes, it may serve as a road block on the route you were taking, but it just means that you may need to take another path. It never means to give up.

Randy Pausch, the famed author of The Last Lecture said this a speech, “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be, I’m sorry to disappoint you.

If you don’t know Randy’s story, he was an inspiring teacher at Carnegie Mellon who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and decided to live the last few months of his life on his own terms. Instead of making excuses for the moments he wasn’t going to have he decided to do what he knew how to do best: inspire others to reach their dreams.

He is the best example of using the circumstances that fell his way to his advantage.

What about you? How will you stop forcing and start flowing?

As for me, bring on the lemonade!

Olabode is currently a student at Auburn University. He blogs about trying to achieve success through the momentum that is present in your everyday life. If you are in need of some motivation and some interesting stories visit his site www.moveshakemotivate.com, blog http://www.moveshakemotivate.com/apps/blog, or follow him at @JustSayO

  • Raquelleegalford

    I was especially touched by this article as this is something I have recently realized that I have been doing.  I have spent a very long time trying to convince myself that I am loved by a specific person.  I am not quite sure at what point I woke up and realized that just because I was trying to force the magic to happen, that didn’t mean it was.  I took a very long look at my soul and realized that I am worthy to be loved simply because I am me and that the right person would come into my life at the right time.  We tend to strive to achieve what we want in different ways.  I think that when we are lonely or feeling unloved, we work the hardest to try to get what we want.  I stopped trying to be what i thought was lovable, and began to be just me.  Much to my surprise, there have been wonderful people who have moved into my life.  I also think it is important that we teach our children how to love themselves.  God made each of us unique with our own special gifts, abilities and talents.  Once I started using them my life began to blossom in all sorts of ways.  Thanks for sharing this message with us.  🙂

    • oanise93

      I’m so glad my post was able to help you. You’re definitely right we are all beautiful and special in our own way and more importantly there is someone out there that appreciates everything we are.

  • Olabode,

    Way to go, young man! You are going to motivate TONS of people in your life. I’m glad that you reminded us just to be ourselves rather than someone else. 

    I thought about this today as I watched a video of the (recently) late, great David Sakoff. I so admired his easy, eloquent way with words and I found myself looking at my writing and thinking, “This is such pablum.” 

    But only for about 10 seconds. Then I remembered that David Sakoff is David Sakoff and I’m Bobbi Emel. I don’t write like David Sakoff, but no one does. I write like myself and my message is as essential as Sakoff’s or anyone else.

    Thanks for your words of wisdom!

    • oanise93

      Yes you have to remember that you are who you are for a reason. Your talents and abilities make you unique. And more importantly there are things you offer that no one else can.

  • Paula

    Such great wisdom and what a wonderful reminder to us all!  Thanks……I too will have a tall glass of lemonade!  Best, Paula G. Rosario, http://www.paulagrosario.com

    • oanise93

      Thank you for your kind words. Just make sure your glass of lemonade has enough ice.

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