Letting Go of the “Whys” to See the Blessings | The BridgeMaker

Letting Go of the “Whys” to See the Blessings

By on May 08, 2012

A sense of blessedness comes from a change of heart, not from more blessings. – Mason Cooley

How often do you ask why when something is happening or has already happened?

The cause for things happening can have multiple reasons and asking why is your mind’s need to make sense because confusion and uncertainty can feel unsafe, unpredictable, and painful.

Answers give relief

We ask why to understand and to regain control so we will know what to do. We ask why because we often look at life circumstances as problems or bad things.

When we do things we regret, feel shame, or beat ourselves up for, we wonder, “Why did I do that?” Or “Why didn’t I do [fill in the blank]?” We want to know so we can fix things or fix ourselves so next time we will do things differently and not repeat the past.

We want life to make sense

How often have you gained insight into what causes you to do or feel something and you keep wondering why that pattern is still alive within you?

We want life to make sense

Guess what?

It doesn’t.

At least not in all the ways we are accustomed to thinking and understanding. Seeking to understand yourself with the curiosity of a child opens pathways for growth and inner healing.


Growth can be a great starting point that can rapidly become a “sticking point.”

Learning to ask different questions

I’ve been on my own healing journey for quite some time. I’ve endured a financial hardship that has impacted my business and my personal life from 2009 – 2011. This circumstance has profoundly transformed me.

Asking why I created that situation, why it was happening and the many others whys I could have asked would have only inflated the anger I already felt towards myself, God, and LIFE!

Instead I asked different questions such as:
– How is this situation serving me to grow and heal?
– What is this situation challenging me to do or be that I have resisted?
– What qualities might be cultivated from this experience?
– What do I need to let go of?
– What is the gift and blessing in this experience that I can also share with the world?

Looking at my life situation from a higher perspective strengthened my courage, faith, and trust and brought me closer to God. My life is filled with abundance, love, and Grace. It always has been. And so is yours!

When you look at all that is happening as healing and growth opportunities, life takes on a deeper meaning.

If you have done a lot of inner work and see familiar patterns still alive within you, it is because each time we expand into the next level of our expression, stuff held more deeply within ourselves rises to the surface to be acknowledged, felt, accepted, and released.

Some of what you might be feeling may be part of your service to the world to heal pain for others who cannot do that for themselves. Remember that we are all one.

Your own inner healing, heals the world

I believe that all things happen for a reason. Every prayer is always answered and help comes in the forms that serve us in the highest way to grow and “wake up” to who we are.

Letting go of the need to know the “why” invites faith and trust to grow.

Be open to see the perfection of your life. Let go of any whys you might be struggling with and be open to opportunities for deeper faith and trust. Tune your eyes to see some of the hidden gifts and blessings you might be overlooking.

And then say, “Thank you.”

Lorraine Cohen is the CEO and founder of Powerfull Living. Join Lorraine on May 15 and 17 for two FREE calls: Awakening to Love: Revealing Your Courageous Heart in an Insane World. You are invited to register here.

  • Great timely post – Very inspiring!  I love especially your quote – “Letting go of the need to know the “why” invites faith and trust to grow.”  It certainly is not wise to ask too many whys!  A coincidence. I just guest posted on Nea Justice’s site a post about going from the “whys” to “what’s next.”  Thanks for the great ideas!

    • Lorraine

      Hi Judy. Curiosity is a great quality because it opens our heart and mind to possibilities. Perhaps a better why would be, “Why not?” How cool that you are working on a post on this topic too! 

  • Great post, Lorraine! Thank you so much for sharing such gentle words of wisdom and a great dose of motivation. When you said that letting go of  the need to know the “why” invites faith and trust to grow, I totally agree to that and  made me realized that everything is laid out for a reason. 

    When you finally let go, there is peace- peace that overwhelms you in the quiet moments. Peace that silences the questions and eases the worries. And with that peace comes freedom- freedom to be exactly who you are without caring what others think. Freedom to dream new dreams, to whisper silent prayers, to accept imperfection. For the times that I am letting go, I didn’t lose myself. Rather, I am finding who I really am and accepting myself just as I am.  And for that, I am grateful and felt blessed.

    Thanks for this great reminder, Lorraine. Wish you the best and keep on inspiring! 🙂

    • Lorraine

      Wow Kent. You really touched my heart with your beautiful insights. This is an incredible time to be alive – a time of “homecoming” for us all as we shed many illusions that have imprisoned our hearts for so long. Your steps are mine and mine are yours. I can feel your peace. Thank you. And Thank you for the Light you shine in the world by being who you are. May your life be blessed in every way. Namaste,  Lo