Flames to dust. Lovers to friends. Why do all good things come to an end? – Nelly Furtado
The ride is an exciting one. Everything at work is positive and fulfilling. You and your partner have been sharing life at a high-level of connection and intimacy. You feel truly aligned with your life’s purpose and the world seems conquerable, if not a little more manageable.
The positive vibrations and successes seem limitless. Then it happens. One thing does not work out. You and your partner argue. A setback happens at work. You feel the brakes being applied. The ride is over. Why do all good things have to come to an end?
The answer may not be in the black or in the white. The true answer may live somewhere in the grey. In fact, there may be at least two answers to this question. One is a practical one. The other answer is more spiritual in nature. Both answers suggest that not all good things necessarily have to come to an end.
The practical answer
Even though we are responsible for the condition of our lives, we don’t always control what happens in our lives. Others make choices which can impact what we do and can dictate what happens next in our lives.
Living in a community with other people is both a blessing and a hindrance. A blessing in the sense we can always learn and grow from tapping into the experiences and knowledge of others. We become better employees, friends, lovers and people when we can share what we have learned and are open to new ideas and suggestions for improvements.
The hindrance occurs when the people in our lives act in irrational or selfish ways, or act in a way that goes against what we want without the intent of malice at all. Their actions, their choices, nonetheless can have consequences in our lives, too.
Consider your career. Your job may be going well. You are advancing both financially and with growing responsibilities, but the owner of the company sells the business. She receives an offer that can be ignored. Your flourishing career has now come to an abrupt end. A good thing has seemingly come to an end.
Even though you cannot control the decision of the business owner, you do have power over how you choose to respond. The glass can be half full or it can be half empty.
Half empty may mean a major setback, perhaps a crisis for you. Half full could look like the opportunity you have always been looking for to start your own business, go back to school, or make a career change. Know this: The next good thing can begin as soon as you give it permission to start.
The spiritual answer
Even though we can’t control every detail that occurs in our lives, we can control the soul and essence of our lives.
When we stop to ask the question, “Why do all good things have to come to an end?,” the first place to look for the answer is within ourselves.
Often in my life I have been guilty of self-sabotage. This destructive behavior usually manifests itself when things are going so well I just can’t stand it any longer. Sounds counterproductive, doesn’t it? But it’s been a part of my past and my reality – and perhaps yours, too.
Because of the baggage we sometimes carry from childhood into adulthood, we may think we are not worthy, or deserving, of good fortune. In fact, good fortune may be uncomfortable for us because we are not familiar with its feeling.
The feelings of deprivation and pain are more comfortable. We may say we want good things to come into our lives and that we want these good things to be sustained for as long as possible. But we really don’t mean it.
For the first 18 years of my marriage, when the love and connection with Mary Beth was going very well and our passion was at a very high level, I would inevitably begin picking a fight with my wife in order to re-introduce some conflict back into our relationship. These feelings of disappointment and guilt were indeed more familiar for me.
I brought the good things to an abrupt end. Over the last few years, this tendency has been made very clear to me. Even though I can’t go back and change what happened in the past, I do have the ability to keep my relationship with my wife at a high-level going forward.
Now, I refuse to surrender to the ghosts of my past. Even though I’m still learning, my goal, my intent, is not to allow the good times to come to an end. This doesn’t mean Mary Beth and I will experience fireworks in our relationship every day. It just means I have the power to make the conscious choice, each day, to continue loving her to the best of my ability and to try to keep the good things from coming to an end.
What we pay attention to grows
Do you want more happiness in your life? If so, focus on being happy.
Do you want more love in your life? If so, focus on becoming love.
Do you want the good things in your life to never end? If so, focus on nurturing those things and creating the life you deserve.
Enjoy the good. Feel worthy to receive it; experience it; and live it. Remember: Not all good things have to come to an end.