In the Blink of an Eye
“I’ll embrace every moment I’m given. There’s a reason I’m alive for a blink of an eye.” – Mercy Me
Last Friday was a long day. Mary Beth underwent a surgical procedure for an issue she has been experiencing for quite some time. Earlier that morning, the unspoken words between us were deafening as we were preparing to leave for the hospital. Although unspoken, we both felt the anxiety nonetheless.
This day was indeed different. Our routines had been interrupted and our life felt like it had been placed on hold, if only for a little while. The surgical procedure she was about to receive is somewhat radical and general anesthesia would be used. The risks associated with both the procedure and anesthesia gave us both reasons for concern. However, either one of us acknowledged this or talked about it. By doing so, we felt, would only give it more credit; more likelihood of happening.
The conversation in the car on the way to the hospital focused on weekend plans. She reminded me of Emily’s basketball game on Saturday and a birthday party our daughter was invited to on Sunday. Mary Beth also asked me to buy tickets to the musical Wicked as soon as we returned home because she was afraid the show might sell-out quickly because it would be in Kansas City for only a few days.
We arrived on time and went through the usual admitting procedures. Afterwards, we took our seats in the waiting area. The distinct smells in a hospital are always sobering. They remind me of the thin line between what we have each day and what can be taken away the next in the blink of an eye.
Soon, her name was called and my wife was escorted back to be prepped for surgery. I had to wait until the preparations were completed before I could see her again.
I pulled out my laptop computer with the intent of getting some work done. But with my focus and inspiration missing, I turned my attention to my Treo cell phone and fumbled through some emails. The door that separated me from Mary Beth opened and a nurse motioned me back.
My wife had changed out of her familiar pink and white sweat suit and was now wearing a blue-dotted hospital gown with a single tie in the back. A bag of saline fluid was attached to a hook above her head. The line going from the bag wrapped around her pillow and ended at a long needle stuck into her left hand. It struck me how vulnerable my wife looked in this moment.
The doctor stopped by and reviewed the procedure with both of us. He sounded confident and reminded us he had successfully completed hundreds of these operations in the past. After the doctor left, it was time for Mary Beth to be transported to the operating room. I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. I told her I would see her in the recovery room a little later. Although a little apprehensive, her eyes reflected a calm inner demeanor that told me she was OK.
The surgery went quickly. The doctor came out to speak with me and assured me Mary Beth was alright. He indicated I could go back to the recovery room and see her in about 15 minutes.
However, one hour later the nurses would still not let me go back to see my wife. They look alarmed. Something was wrong. The charge nurse finally came into the waiting area and informed me Mary Beth was experiencing a great deal of post-operative pain. The solution was to give her morphine to make her more comfortable and wait to see what happens next.
After the nurse left, I sat trying to reconcile what I was told to what I was feeling.
The routine of our lives can be comforting at times. My wife’s daily telephone calls to me just to say “hi,” the Saturdays of running errands or watching or children play in their games and our evenings of getting homework done could all be over in a blink of an eye.
What we have today may not be here tomorrow. This statement shouldn’t be taken as a reason to mourn, but rather a reason to celebrate. The here and now is what matters most. When we live in regret, or consider tomorrow as the answer to our happiness, then life can be missed.
Our lives on this earth happen in a blink of an eye, too. Considering all of the time that is behind us and the amount of time in front of us, our slice of time is meager, but very, very important. We are put here to make a difference with the time we do have.
In an odd bit of irony, we may not fully realize or appreciate what our contributions are until we are asked to take a step back and evaluate them. Then we have pristine focus on what is truly important, and what is not.
Last Friday reminded me of the most important things in life:
• Show gratitude everyday
• Appreciate the small things as much as the large
• Acknowledge your dreams that live inside of you – nurture them, give them energy and work on them every day
• If you have a partner, tell him or her how much you love them, everyday
• If you have children, do the same
• Show one act of random kindness each day
• Give yourself grace for the mistakes made in the past
• Think about how you want to live; not how you don’t want to live
• Tell the Universe, everyday, what you want – and then feel it
• Forgive those who have harmed you; forgiveness isn’t about giving a gift to the offender; it’s about giving yourself the gift of freedom and peace
• Enjoy your first cup of coffee in the morning; sing out loud when your favorite song is played on the radio; and appreciate the time you share with those closest to you
Two hours after the doctor told me my wife would be fine; I was finally able to see her. The nurse took me back to where Mary Beth was resting. She was still under the influence of the pain medication, but she did recognize me.
I placed my hand on top of hers and gently bent down to kiss her. She opened her eyes and took me in for a moment before blinking several times and then finally closing her eyes to rest. The storm had passed.
The next morning while enjoying my first cup of coffee as Mary Beth continued to sleep, I looked to the east and noticed the sun. It was a gift rising in the sky. Life, our guest, was on the way.
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Comments
40 Responses to “In the Blink of an Eye”
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Hi Alex - I have to admit I was gripped by the story and was frenetically reading until the end to see if your wife was OK. It captured the anxiety you most likely was feeling at the time as well.
A very good reminder to appreciate our loved ones, indeed. Hope Mary Beth gets back to 100% in no time.
Thank you very much Al. Mary Beth is doing much better today - almost back to normal.
Sending my best wishes to your wife, Mary Beth. I wish her full speedy recovery and up and kicking in no time.
Sometimes the person who is closest to the person who is going thru the medical issue is more heavy at heart, especially when this is someone you love.
You take care too, Alex.
Blessings
Gamy
Best wishes to both your wife and you.
Sometimes in life we are given a gentle nudge, sometimes a thump on the head. They can serve to remind us how much we value and love what we have.
I hope she is doing much better, and I hope that you are as well.
Very inspiring post. Thank you for sharing, we really must seize everyday.
I know that hospital smell and feel too well.
-Andrew
I too was scrolling down to see that Mary Beth was ok Alex
We take some many things for granted and when we have experience that remind us that things can change in an instant, we awaken to that state of gratitude and appreciation. I fall into that sleeping state all the time when I get caught up in the dramas and details I create in my life.
Each day I have longer moments of appreciation and gratitude for all the gifts in my life. That is one of my goals - to become more and more present so I can focus on all I have rather than all I might lose.
Blessings to you both
Lorraine
Hi Alex, Beautiful post and I wish you and Mary Beth all the best. I was scared of hospitals for years and that smell would send shivers right through me. But as we know being scared and focusing on that is not the right answer and when I was forced to be in one for a few weeks because I was in labor 12 weeks early — I had to conquer my fears and be strong for my daughter who was still growing inside me. She was born 9 weeks early but after a month in hospital care was healthy.
You are so right with seizing every day and the important things you listed for LIVING! Thank you for this post — it is a wonderful reminder of what is important. Gratefully, Jenny
I’m glad your wife if ok and I hope that she will be feeling well soon. We have so much to be thankful for.
Lorraine - thank you very much for your concern and for your inspirational thoughts; both are very much appreciated.
Jenny - Thanks for sharing a piece of your story to show the importance of seizing each day.
Karen - You are right, we all have so much to be thankful for in life.
Glad to hear that Mary Beth is doing well!
Those days do serve to remind us of what’s really important in the scheme of life!
Alex,
Thank you for sharing a very personal, very real piece of life.
Blessings to Mary Beth on a speedy recovery.
Walt
Such a beautiful reminder how situations in our lives can change in an instant. I hope Mary Beth and you are recovering well and send you blessings. Your story showed us the exercise of loving and holding fast to the preciousness of life and gratitude without knowing the outcome. Thank you for sharing such an intimate and vulnerable experience.
Alex,
My wife and I will be praying for a speedy recovery. Life is indeed a glorious thing and a wonderful blessing, so glad that your wife is ok. Thanks for a wonderful post!
You’re an excellent storyteller. You truly pulled me into your thoughts and feelings. Thank you.
Ronda
Alex, my heart nearly stopped when I was reading how they wouldn’t let you back to see Mary Beth! I had to scroll down to make sure she was OK! I’m glad she’s doing better now.
This is an incredible post. It really spoke to me, as my husband has many health issues, and had at least four emergency room visits last year, plus surgery for kidney stones and an angiogram.
I’m always cognizant of the fact that one day one of these hospital visits may end badly. We try to stay positive and live in the present moment. Last year we bought a fifth wheel camper and spent five months traveling around the county. We’re planning on doing it again this year. He has a progressive disease and may not be able to travel like this forever, so we’re seizing the moment and doing it now.
Live like there’s no tomorrow!
Amen Darlene, Amen!
Hey I’m just a random reader, I stumbled upon this page and I would like to let you know that I really appreciate this story and blog entry. I found it fulfilling and insightful. Thanks for writing.
-Patrick
This is a reminder to live every day to the absolute fullest.
My best to Mary Beth
Also a great list for everyone to post an a wall or a fridge.
Thank you for sharing
Alex - I’ve been through a few similar situations with my wife and I can totally relate to this story. Great writing! The best things in life are still free!
Many blessings and joys to you and Mary Beth,
CG
Thanks, Alex, for such a beautiful post once again. You’re such an inspiring writer. I sure hope that Mary Beth feels better.
Sending both of you showers of blessings,
Evelyn
Alex, awesome piece of writing! I can truly feel what you’ve gone through as one of my family member underwent a very major operation last year. The pain, the anxiety is beyond words. Though I’ve to admit you’ve captured it so aptly. So beautifully. And, not to forget the very important message behind the whole story.
Appreciate your loved ones. And fill up your life with immense gratitude! Thanks for the well worded reminder….
Cheers,
Ellesse
This was moving. You are so right about not taking any of this for granted. My best to Mary Beth.
All,
Thank you for your heart-felt responses and support. Mary Beth and I appreciate each of you more than you may know!
Take care, always,
Alex
i tell this to my friends and family all the time, and i try to tell myself, but i just don’t know. i just started in college and ever since, i’ve felt so wrong. i live for the weekend, when i can go back home and see the people i love so much, and i don’t want that. i want to live every day like it’s my last, since it very well may be. it’s just so hard to know what’s right.
everything you said was very true. i read through your stories a lot, they give me a faint glimmer of hope to get me through the long days in winter.
i wish the best for you and your family, good luck on your quest for an honest, meaningful life.
Hey Alex
What a beautiful post! I really felt drawn into the story and it brought up feelings for me that I had forgotten about with my Dad. Since he is 100% back to normal and our life was changed for the better, I had forgotten the dark times when I greatly feared what was ahead. So I thank you for the reminder and I am glad that Mary Beth is recuperating well and may she continue to do so.
Judging from the comments, it seems a lot of us got a lot from this experience. Every cloud has a silver lining after all!
In love, light and abundance x x x
Fantastic article Alex!! I really enjoyed reading through it. I love the concept of being fully engaged in a moment. Thanks for a great read.
Alex, thanks for sharing this experience and your feelings with us. There is nothing worse for a spouse or parent than to be the one sitting in the waiting room waiting to hear how our loved one is doing. The fear grows as the time of waiting grows longer. That is when you really have to pray. I am glad that Mary Beth is doing well.
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye posted at The Next 45 [...]
Thank you for sharing this post with the readers of this week’s Carnival of Family Life! This week the Spring is Just Around the Corner Edition is hosted at home at Colloquium! Hope you will drop by and read some of the many other wonderful entries received this week!
Beautiful. That sums it up.
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye posted at The Next 45 [...]
[...] Alex Blackwell presents a touching reminder as to how fragile life can be though a intensely personal reaction to his wife’s admittance to a hospital in a post called In the Blink of an Eye [...]
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye published at The Next 45 [...]
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye posted at The Next 45 [...]
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye. He presents a moving story of his wife’s surgery and the realization of the importance of [...]
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye posted at The Next 45 [...]
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye posted at The Next 45 [...]
[...] Blackwell presents In the Blink of an Eye posted at The Next 45 [...]
Thank you for this inspiring story about your wife and what you gleaned from this experience. I’ve just discovered your website and have found many uplifting observations.
Thanks a lot for sharing. Definitely inspiring and will help others too who go through something similar…