How to Live Without Alcohol for 100 Days?
Keep the lesson, but throw away the experience. – Author Unknown
You may notice the headline for today’s post, How to Live Without Alcohol for 100 Days?, is in the form of a question; not a statement. The reason for this is because I don’t know the answer. But, I want to find out.
I have always experienced the gap, the thin line in my soul between alcoholism and sobriety as paper thin and always in danger of being erased. There is plenty of family history to suggest both a propensity and a genetic pre-disposition for alcoholism to surface inside me at any given time. It is a disease I have narrowly escaped most of my life – and I want to continue to do so.
My attempt to go 100 days without drinking a beer or having a glass of wine will not erase my tendencies to drink for the wrong reasons and it certainly will not give me any moral ground to stand on if I am indeed successful. I just want to see if I can do it.
Too often, I have reached for alcohol to sooth my anxiety or to make me feel more comfortable when I’m with people I don’t know well. I associate going to baseball games with drinking beer and I eagerly look forward to that first Friday after-work drink, too.
Now, I want to try to experience all of these things without the usual assistance. My inner voice, my inner wisdom, has been suggesting this to me for some time now. It’s time to listen.
Day One started this past Sunday, May 4. Day 100 will be on Monday, August 11. How I live the days in between will be the challenge. I really don’t have a roadmap or any past experience to draw on for these 100 days. All I have is determination and a hope I will learn new things about myself.
My hope is old wounds that sometimes open and fester with insecurity when alcohol is the instigator will begin to close. I will not be healed or fixed in these 100 days, but there is hope I will have gain valuable personal insight that will help me with the healing process.
I’m not sure what will happen on August 12th. I can’t say if I will drink again or at what level and frequency. I do, however, have faith and confidence in whatever happens between now and then will be the right things for me. So, a leap of faith begins.
Here’s my plan for living 100 days without alcohol. Please share other ideas you think would be helpful:
Ask for help
By making this very public announcement, I’m asking to be held accountable for my actions. I’m also asking for help, and I’m sure I will ask for help many more times over the next 100 days, too. Some things in our lives are much bigger than we are.
Pride and arrogance contribute to our failure when we fail to ask for help. Ironically, it takes confidence and courage to ask. Confidence in that we believe there are people in our lives who care enough to listen and support us. Courage in the sense we want to keep moving forward in spite of the obstacles and pain.
Find alternatives
It will be difficult finding alternatives for the Sunday afternoon glass of wine or the cold draft beer during a dinner out. For me it’s just been a matter of habit; a matter of comfort.
Just as the physical act of drinking is a habit, so is the dependency on the calming effect the alcohol provides. Therefore, I may substitute a beer for a glass of ice tea, but more importantly, I will need to discover alternatives to finding comfort and peace. This will be the biggest challenge and hopefully the greatest opportunity for me.
Investing more time in reading, writing, improving relationships, exercising and just thinking are seem to be the likely candidates right now. I know a certain degree of peace in my life can be rejuvenated and restored by investing in these areas. I’m also certain I will find comfort by learning how to take better care of myself.
The thought of truly feeling all of my emotions without the faint haze of melancholy draping over me is invigorating. I’m looking forward to going into a Friday afternoon with the knowledge I can be at peace and content by just being Alex; no other assistance will be required.
Live one day at a time
Some days will be easier than others because it wasn’t my habit to drink everyday. Typically, I would not drink alcohol during the week. It will be the weekends, or being in a restaurant or at a ball game that will be the most challenging. There is also a vacation planned for later in July that will undoubtedly give me some concern. However, the cliché take it one day at time is the best advice I can try to follow.
To go 100 days without drinking will require making a conscious choice each and every time I’m confronted with the temptation. It’s not so much about setting a 100 day plan, but rather setting and living a moment-by-moment plan. It is my hope all of these moments of making the deliberate decision to resist the temptation will all contribute to the final result I’m seeking.
Take a leap of faith
During the times when I’m not feeling particularly confident, I will attempt to step back and ask what a stronger and more confident person would do in this situation. The answer will be there to cling to if I choose. So, knowing this, a leap begins.
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Comments
118 Responses to “How to Live Without Alcohol for 100 Days?”
What do you think?
Best of luck Alex! I recently did a 30 day alcohol free stint. Actually, that’s not true, I did 29 and collapsed on my wedding anniversary, but at least I’d said I’d do that prior
It wasn’t as tough as I thought and I really only did it to see if I could because I’m not a big drinker but I do love a cold beer and a glass of wine.
I admire anybody that has a crack it it though and the sheer fact that you’ve posted about it here increases your chances of success exponentially.
One more thing.
I can almost guarantee that you’ll succeed.
Knowing you as you I do, I know you’d never lie to your kids. So tell your kids and it’s a done deal. It may even remove the temptation bit because you’d never be tempted to let your kids down.
This is a worthy goal and I applaud you for it.
I love wine but wasn’t liking how I felt after having even a glass or two – I haven’t had any alcohol for 8 years and when I decided to stop drinking it was far easier than I anticipated – “anticipated” being the operative word.
As a test, I decided not to have that glass of wine while out with friends for “just one night”. It was an eye opener experiencing the night out without drinking and being w/others who were. I felt so much better when I returned home – clearer.
You can do it – but I wouldn’t think about August -focus on the day – it’s amazing how quickly those days add up.
@ Tim: Thanks for the advice and encouragement!
@ Patti: Congratulations on your success. You are right about only focusing on the day. If I do that, each day, August will take care of itself. Thank you!
Alex – I’m sure you’ll do fine, and I can’t wait to read the post about your success that I know you’ll be writing in August.
I see not drinking alcohol in exactly the same light as not eating junk food, not smoking, gambling, etc. It is all a mindset. Put yourself in a lifestyle zone where those things are simply not a part of your life anymore. It’s not a question of desire or temptation, it’s simply a matter of “yes I do that” or “no I don’t do that”.
I know that sounds ultra-simplified, but when it comes to battling something that is tempting, I have found that keeping it simple and making a true commitment to that simplicity is the key to success.
Hi Alex –
What a brave and wonderful statement/question. As one who quit drinking for 90 days 27 years ago, I applaude you. You have outlined the answers to your own questions within your blog.
The only thing I would add to your own observations is that it is much easier to not go it alone. (This you have implied from your blog anyway.) For me, help has come through a 12 step program, but I know there are other forms of support out there as well.
What I came to see was all the reasons that I use alcohol: to mask feelings, to quell fear, to avoid facing “truth” about myself, to procrastinate, to feel at ease in party situations, etc.
While only you can discern that fine line, I would suggest that if you are thinking about it this hard, it might mean that you have crossed over the line.
Blessings on your journey. It all goes a step at a time.
Linda
Congratulations on challenging yourself in this way, Alex! I’m not a big drinker, so giving up alcohol is really no big deal for me. I am, however, a total sugar addict!
About three months ago, I challenged myself to give up sugar and caffeine. It was not a fun process. I think my poor husband went into hiding for the first week, until my withdrawal symptoms subsided!
What really helped me was witnessing my own inner dialog. Lots and lots of ego-based resistance came up, and I acknowledged all of it – and stayed away from sugar anyway. It gave me huge insight into my dependence on sweet foods for self-soothing and “treating” myself.
There were physical detox symptoms for two weeks – my body just ached. And then, just like that, it was over. Once I adjusted, I could cheerfully say no to birthday cake or desert. No problem.
I kept it up for 8 weeks. Now, I occasionally eat desert or sweets. I enjoy them – but I don’t “need” them after a hard day’s work as a treat. All in all, totally worth it!
You can do it!!!!
Alex – I can definitely relate to the anxiety-relieving effect of alcohol. I’m pretty shy in social situations and having a drink or two really takes the edge off that tension.
My only suggestion for you in this context is to focus on your objective for the interaction. If you’re networking for professional purposes, focus on that. If you’re in a more social situation, it may not hurt to take a cue from the “pick-up-artists” of the world and have a few “routines” to use for ice breaking with new people.
Wow…Alex….what a goal!!
Ok, I am not a drinker but have also committed to decline an offer of wine even for social events. I’m so intend to having a clear mind as much as possible that I prefer not to have alcohol cloud it, even for a night. I already went through last Christmas not having a single drop!
If you should feel stressed and find yourself wanting to reach for a glass, just ask for help. Feel free to call me, except that I’m from faraway Singapore, or email!
All the best,
Evelyn
Good luck. I stopped drinking 10 years ago and can’t remember why I did now. There is a certain social pressure to drink at least in the UK. But, you only have to put up with the odd remark.
After going an entire year without any alcoholic drinks I know the struggle the first 100 days were. It was the thirst that really started to drive me nuts. But you can get through it. Just think about how great it will be to accomplish this goal! It will certainly make you an healthier person as well which should greatly improve your life. Best of luck to you and just keep your eyes on your goals everyday and you should be just fine.
Alex – WOW! Great post, great goal. I’m surprised that no one has added prayer to your plan. If you’re not a pray-er, self talk has power as well. There’s a prayer that’s included in most 12 step programs that goes like this: “God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.” Or, put into a self talk phrase: “I have the serenity to accept all things, I have the courage to change the things that I can, and I have the wisdom to know the difference. I definitely believe in myself and I know I can do this.”
Alex,
I commend your decision and determination, as well as the transparency you’ve offered to all of us into your life. That takes courage.
I, too, went through a period without alcohol. I quit drinking for a 40 day period a few years ago to prove to myself, and to those around me, that I wasn’t alcoholic. The bad news is that I celebrated at the end of the 40 days in a way that defeated the purpose of my abstinence – I partied like I had never partied before because, in my irrational mind, I wasn’t alcholic. Imagine the delusion in that thought!
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says: “Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic.” And that was how I felt.
The good news is that my little experiment eventually led to my continued sobriety. I haven’t had a drink in about 3 years.
I can’t say I know exactly where you’re at, but your thought process seems logical. You didn’t ask specifically for my advice, and I don’t like to offer it unless asked, but your honest post has prompted me to suggest that you find something substantial to substitute for drinking. Alcohol is but a symptom of a larger problem, and we must treat the bigger issues if we hope to succeed.
I would ordinarily say ‘good luck’ in your endeavors, but it isn’t about luck. It’s about taking action with the knowledge you possess. If I can be of any assistance, please call upon me at any time.
David
Alex– SO funny, I am myself embarking on at least 30 days of no alcohol…I am incorporating a pseudo fast in the beginning to propel me in the right direction. I have done 30-50 days before without alcohol. You CAN do it man, I have faith in you. Thank you for sharig so vividly your intention….this goes a long, long way!
Todd
Good for you! I wish you well with this endeavor.
My grandfather was alcoholic and I have always used alcohol sparingly, don’t even like the taste of beer. The more I do energy work, such as Reiki and CCT, the more I find I dislike the effects of alcohol on my body and mind. Just does not feel good to me. I rarely even take a glass of wine any more.
So you might do something really different and go take a Reiki class to see how that goes for you. That opens the door to a lot of self healing in and of itself and who knows, you might find you enjoy it!
Lexi
I really identified with your post. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I know I’ve abused alcohol in the past. But it’s a source of comfort and relaxation for me. Like you, I’m not a daily drinker, but the thought of forbidding myself to have a glass of wine after a hard day makes me feel panicky. This has given me a lot to think about!
Interesting.
Alex, you can do this, and we’ll be right here cheering you along.
The summer we moved was so very stressful that every time I turned around I had a beer in my hand. We ended up switching over to a non-alcoholic beer.
For me, it was the “hand to mouth, icy bottle” that was the soothing effect, the alcohol actually got in the way and caused way too many arguments.
I suppose it sounds like “cheating”, but until I can find cane-sugar soda in glass bottles, beer it is.
Also, enjoy your surprise weight loss… it’s heading your way whether you realize it or not!
Alex,
I was never able to drink successfully, even being a cocktail waitress and a bartender, because booze puts me to sleep. For years, I was proud to be able to dine out with friends and consume a glass of fine wine with dinner, while staying awake and coherent. Finally, I decided that drinking to be sociable or relaxed was a waste of money and time. There are too many healthy alternatives.
I have friends who stopped heavy drinking habits, though, by telling themselves that they were not drinkers. They made a conscious decision NOT to drink prior to being faced with a choice. This self-talk helped them to develop a different self-image of themselves and carried them through up to this point.
I used the same technique to eliminate chocolate from my life, so I know it is effective.
When we utilize our free agency to determine the type of person we are, we make the decision IN ADVANCE of the need to choose. For example, “I am a non-chocolate eating, relaxed and happy individual, who enjoys challenges and maintains a relaxed but alert, stress-free attitude at all times.”
Works for me!
Who needs booze(or chocolate, or whatever? Not me!
Hey Alex,
I wish you Godspeed. Alcohol has never been an issue for me–I could always just take it or leave it…so all I can say is I’m cheering you on from here. Best of Luck…we will stay tuned and be there if you need some support.
It is always wise to follow your own inner voice. That by itself is stronger and more important than a drink on Friday night!
Good luck Alex!
Good job going public!
What I hear is an opportunity for you to build some muscle around making choices that serve your purpose in life. Letting external circumstances dictate your drinking habits is a sign that you’re not conscious of the choice you’re making in each of those moments.
More than drinking or not drinking, what I hope you gain from this experience is the ability to choose your path from moment to moment, regardless of the circumstances.
Also, try substituting fresh juices!
Thanks for sharing this with us!
Erek
I had stopped drinking for about 10 years, and then it snuck up on me again, mainly due to a relationship I was in with an active social drinker.
I haven’t had a drop since July 6, 2007. When I would drink, I would hear a little voice in my head saying, “This isn’t where you want to go….” So I decided to heed that voice.
My best advice: one day at a time!
Also engaging in daily spiritual practices.
Good luck.
@All: I’m truly touched by the comments and the spirit of encouragement and grace that each one of you have extended to me. I will provide updates along the way when I have something to share; or need to ask for help. Until then, thank you for your kind words of strength. And yes, Rich, I do believe in the power of prayer – thank you for sharing yours!
I haven’t had the experience of alcoholism, but have a good friend in recovery . . . something like 20 years. From what she has shared, remaining active in Alcoholics Anonymous has been instrumental.
While online support is good, who will you be able to call and get immediate help when you’re tempted, and who will know what’s going on with you well enough to know when you’re approaching danger? That’s what a sponsor can do, and from what I understand that’s why you need one.
Alex
I am so proud of you. My addiction is sweet things, cakes and biscuits but I have experience of alcoholism within my circle.
It is the saddest thing in the world seeing them trying so hard and slipping back but one day they won’t. One day they will find the inner strength to take one hour at a time, one day at a time until they can take one week at a time. Then it will grow into months, then years – I know it.
Have faith in yourself Alex and be proud. Believe it or not, my giving up sweet things is almost impossible but I will start a 100 day just like you. Thank you for the inspiration.
God bless
Hi Alex… I just discovered your blog. Excellent decision. I can’t say enough good things about living an alcohol free life.
I went for almost 16 years without alcohol because booze had started making me feel physically ill. I guess I drank too much in college, like most people.
But then I went to Paris, and I couldn’t resist the wine flowing everywhere, and that started me back. I knew, though, that it wasn’t the right choice when a friend of mine said, “I’m so glad you started drinking again. It makes you a more fun person.” So, I’m only fun when I drink? Oh, brother.
Mercifully, the alcohol started making me sick again. I would get a 6 pack hangover from one drink, hard liquor, wine, beer, didn’t matter. And so, I quit again. And I feel much better and happier. And I haven’t talked with that friend in 2 years.
Good luck with the challenge.
Great article. Certainly its not easy, and in fact I was directed to your site by another article you wrote as a guest regarding your daughters return from college. I was very intrigued by your approach and as I read on. . . I felt a bit stumbled by your mention of discussing her choice for president . . . over a beer. It just didn’t seem to fit with all the other things you were saying.
I’ve been a member of AA for 15.5 years now, and, although I could have quit for 100 days. . .I needed to quit for more than that. Once you cross the line from drinker to alcoholic – you won’t have the choice to go back over that line again. I personally wouldn’t be testing it. I know from experience and listening to the experiences of others – its not worth it. In fact, I can honestly say, there is not an alcoholic substance out there that I would consider in exchange for the life I’ve been able to manifest since I’ve stopped drinking. The clarity that has come to me by putting down the drink- and releasing the addiction- has been incredible.
One of my kids decided to go to AA, “but you’re not an alcoholic”, I cried out. He politely reminded me that “the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.”
@Jewel: Regarding the beer comment in my guest post for Zen Habits, I wrote that article about three weeks ago before I made this 100 day decision. I think I already know what my answer will be on day 100 – it’s just hard admitting to it right now. Thanks for taking the time to comment – I appreciate your support very much.
Alex
First, the man takes a drink.
Then the drink takes a drink.
Than the drink takes the man.
–Japanese Proverb
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Hi Alex,
I am sure you will succeed,
I will be interested to see whether you start again in 101 days? I think I prefer the French way, to just enjoy a glass with a meal, rather than totally abstaining.
Putting it out there to the world has an impact on what you do, as i am currently finding.
Enjoy and i look forward to reading your story.
Suzie
I want to wish you all the luck in the world. I had a friend some years back who would go a year without alcohol. He’d just decide that it was time to clean up his act… And he did it. He started me thinking. If he could do it for a year, why couldn’t I? Well, I tried to stop and found it to be very difficult. At one time, I did a 5 year stint and then I went to a reunion of old GI buddies and decided that I was going to party. 7 years later, I decided that I had a problem. That’s when I decided to quit, for good, one day at a time. That was 6 years 4 months and 11 days ago. That’s about 2,321 days. In the beginning it was touch and go, but today, I can’t imagine taking a drink. I’ve been blessed. I still have some difficulty in social situations, but that’s just part of life for me. I’ve learned to do many stress reducing activities: meditation, exercise, hobbies… Many people have helped me along the way as well. I could have never done it alone. You seem to have the right idea, in that you are making yourself accountable. An old friend talked to me about Honesty- He said: You can’t save your face and your ass at the same time. Being honest with yourself is THE most important aspect of this type of endeavor. Again, I wish you all the best- one day at a time. Rich
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Alex, I applaud your determination. I am not an alcoholic only because I choose to not take the chance by drinking. My dad and grandfather and numerous other family members are alcoholics. I have seen it ruin too many lives to take the chance by drinking.
Because I was raised by an alcoholic parent and a co-dependant parent, I have played both roles quite well in the past without the benefit of actually drinking. I went to Al-Anon, a 12-Step program for family and friends of alcoholics for almost 10 years and then stopped. I recently started going back to meetings with a friend of mine who just divorced her alcoholic. Because she doesn’t want to marry another alcoholic, I suggested that she give Al-Anon a try. She is learning about herself through the meetings. Even though I don’t live with an alcoholic, the program still saved my marriage years ago.
You are in my prayers.
Good luck! As time goes by you will probably notice how you don’t need it at all. Peace be with you.
Hello Alex. From what I read you have great faith. With great faith your goal is easily achievable.
I am 20 years old in college, every night there is a party, I will go out and not drink a drop. I never have and never will.. there isn’t even temptation anymore.. after a while you just come accustom to the feeling, and so does everyone around you. Some people might ask you to take a sip, but after you say no most people just let it go.
As for the anxiety… My dad drank until he was 30 years old he never had anxiety or panic why? because he was drunk all the time.
My second year at college I got hit with the what I call the Alcholic gene. I was having severe anxiety and major panic attacks I was losing my mind. But I never resorted to alcohol. Instead I started medication. The medication has worked fantastic.. and I’m still a social butterfly who doesn’t need a drink to have a good time.
If times are getting tough and you think you have to take a drink..fall back on your faith.. If Christ could give up his life for you.. you can give up a simple drink for him.
Your second paragraph describes me exactly, but I have found moderation. I know my limit now, and I stick to it. It isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s possible.
@Jason: Moderation would be a great goal to achieve – thanks for sharing.
jonson and Alex
True alcoholics can not moderate
@Clean: Thanks for keeping us honest.
Congrats on your efforts…I did about 6 months without alcohol last year, and I just decided again to quit drinking for an undetermined amount of time…
I think the key is to focus on the outcome of why you are doing it, and think of plenty of fun alternatives to drinking…then every time you are tempted, just take out your list of the fun alternatives and do one of those
I wish you luck. I’ve gone several weeks before, but certainly not a hundred days. It seems to me that my friends try to ask me to parties that much more vigorously when they know I’m on the wagon, I guess since they feel a little bad that they couldn’t quit either? I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Today 22th June 2008 I am a 100 days alcohol free !
Way to go Joanna!
Alex
I had been a heavy drinker for years. Just over a year ago out of the blue, three guys decided to try and kill me. I tried to reconcile what had happened to me with my life in general too and found myself on that downward spiral. Nothing or no one could help me and I really wanted it all to be over. I had a realisation one day which basically made me see that no one actually owed me a thing and it really was up to me. The first step was to stop drinking, one day at a time, I felt good, had more energy and clarity of thought, I read, I wrote, I exercised and I survived. As I write this it has been 104 days. Smartest move I ever made. Good luck.
Good luck to you. I find myself at this page on my own search for answers. After nearly 4 years of sobriety I took that first drink 11 days ago…and thought I could still manage my life. I can’t. I think I’m in control. I’m not. It is. I’m struggling with why that simple thing – alcohol-has so much control.
Thanks for the read.
Hang in there CZ, you don’t ever fail until you stop trying.
Hi Alex, I was directed to your blog when I searched about people deciding not to drink alcohol. You will be just fine. Hard? yeah, but you are committed within yourself and you have made it public. That right there, is a winning step!
I am not a big drinker. I even found weird googling this, because all searches would result in AA info, and people with real alcohol problems. I am 37, and i have never made a big scene after drinking or have made a fool out of myself, BUT, last december, i was drinking in my house with a friend, and we kept doing shots and beer.. when she left, i came in and started bringing past issues to my live-in boyfriend, things we were already over, trust issues that were a thing of the past and the next day he was so mad, because i was on my “argument mode, like everytime i get a buzz” and argued for over 3 hours (I only recall like 15 minutes) and he said everytime i would get buzzed w alcohol, I would start arguing and bringing the past and bad memories… I felt ashamed and sad at myself, because I knew that if I was sober that night I would have not bring things over again. That day, without telling him i decided to go 30 days without drinking, and it was December! parties, events everywhere and i did not take a sip. I felt great and when he asked me why i was doing this, since i only drink “sometimes” ( I dont even drink on weekdays)i told him, i was damaging our relationship. And i wanted to stop that. A buzz was not worth it. These months i have had a few beers, but for some reason something keeps telling me to just try to quit 100%. I always drink when I am sad, but its hard to just drink one. Am I exagerating? Sorry for turning the attention to myself on this message, first time I write in a blog. I just felt your honesty and felt comfortable to open up. Thank you for reading. C.
Today is 100 days without alcohol. Im feeling pretty beat up. I ve become depressed and angry. Im becoming a dam hermit.
maybe its the day. Its probably PMS. I should feel like celebrating but I forget how to.
Good work Alex, i wish you all the best in your quitting, im a heavy drinker, i spend my day with it, i wish i can quit someday,i tried to quit but it makes me stall, people some times asks me you dont look ok, i felt less energized and less responsive, im thinking what takes me there, i need an alternative or support. asifadeel@hotmail.com
Hi Alex,
Well I hope you made it! I myself am having a battle with the fire water right now. Told myself to stop for 4 months and I’m struggling at 27 days in. Gotta stay focused. Anyway I wish you all the best and thanks for the interesting post.
Cheers mate, Clive.
(That’s just a common salutation in England bye the way -it does’nt mean go get a drink!)
@ Clive: 27 days is Awesome Clive. I will be pulling for you!
I quit on May 5th. Its very hard when I was raised with it and have been a factory worker all my life. It is such a habit and where I live its like a culture. I am so tired of the merry go round. I am either drunk hung over or both. Once i start I can not stop some times for days. It has ruined many parts and relationships in my life. It has clouded my judgement and decision making far too long. It is killing me.
Thanks for the inspiration knowing I am not alone.
Wayne
@ Wayne: One day at one time my friend. And when you are in the middle of a hard day, know you are loved -always.
Wayne – just do it.
Today I am 128 days free of tobacco and just 6 days free of booze.
I am waiting for all the bad stuff to happen, but, here is how I handle it.
A quick prayer -
I control what goes in, you are in charge of what happens next.
With this kind of meaning – I am going to at all costs NOT have a drink today – my body, like puberty will probably change, look funny, or feel outta whack, all this stuff I leave in your hands. I know that eventually I will get used to the new me, so I patiently wait for it.
I thank you for the xx years on this planet and I’ve had it good so far . . I am just trying to make it better for myself now.
Also pick up a new not related habit that you will allow yourself- well at least that is what I am doing.
ive read through all the texts and its a fine collection of heart felt stories and obstacles…… alot like the big book. OK maybe more modern and i can relate as a 32 year old male with alot of the same thoughts , trials ands tribulations! thanks for sharing. Wish everyone the best and ill pray i can eventually figure why so many can and i cant!
eventually?
@ I’m pulling for you Todd!
Learning how to live with an alcoholic is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I loved my mother but watching her destroy herself was almost unbearable. I know now, though, that finding inner peace, in spite of these challenges, is possible. To anyone out there that is hurting because of an addiction to alcohol, don’t give up. Stay the course.
Amen to that John.
Although over 2 years old this is a fantastic article which speaks to me in so many ways. I am on day 3 of my attempt to go sober and wine free for 40 days. I am so encouraged by this read, thank you for sharing.
I’m pulling for you Lady D!
Great, im going to do the same, actually i said to myself after my last break up (when i was curing myself with wine, i got so sick, from alkohol and from break up) that i wll not drink for a year.
I know that i meet all the kind of wrong men under the influence,my friends as well, i know everyone will complain about me, i try first this 100 days
Stay strong Ewa and believe you can do it. Let me know what happens at the end of the 100 days.
You know how they say you read the right thing at the right time and it’s “Divine timing”? Well, this post was shown to me in divine timing, I’d say.
Alcohol is such a big part of my social life (it seems like friends just want to go out for a drink, have some wine with dinner, etc) and that’s okay, but my family is riddled with alcoholics on both sides and it frightens me. I *do* look forward to the end-of-the-week drink. Is that a bad thing? Unhealthy?
When I reach my threshold (4 drinks) and go past it, I just can’t stop. I know that’s not how a normal drinker drinks…so I am putting myself on a hiatus as well.
Thanks for posting this!
Best of luck during your hiatus Lindsay. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help along the way.
Well what a blog. Glad I found you lot! Have been doing the wine thing every nite nearly, nearly meaning one nite a week I wouldn’t drink. I work five mornings a week and do my job admirably but having a wardrobe fulll of clothes that don’t fit due to waist expansion and worry over what damage I’ve done or am doing to my liver and other organs Want to try and not drink during the week. That iwine thing was almost a bottle of wine Thursday friday Saturday and Sunday nights, monday and Wednesday just a glass after a dance class and Tuesdays none… One night without. I’ve no “will power” if that’s what it’s called but am on night one with no alcohol!!
Celebrate the one night Ellen and then each day try to do it again. I’ll be thinking of you.
Today us Day 1 of my 100 Day challenge. Feb 5-May 15. Not sure how I will handle Day 101 right now. Main thing is that I complete the 100 Day challenge. I am sure some days will be harder than others….thanks for helping me set a goal that will be well worth it I am sure!
One day at a time Sylvane.
So inspiring to read all these posts – just what I need. I gave up for Lent on 9th March and since then have had 3 bottles of wine (sorry God), but have now managed a whole week (people who know the real me wouldn’t believe this). Already my life has improved – relationships, work etc. although I am very anxious, argumentative and desperately want a whole bottle. My pulsing, aching liver is keeping me straight right now. Good luck and God speed to everyone trying to deal with their demons. xx
One week! That’s incredible Sharon. Our demons can be viscous, but wine doesn’t always have to be the antidote. Sometimes just reaching out and asking for help is the best cure. Keep talking Sharon and know there are people who love and support you.
Wow this is an interesting blog… Its really scary to me how many people have alcohol as a negative ruling factor in their lives yet it is a legal and highly thriving and publicized business. I’m one of those people. I Have been struggling with it for years and years and alcoholism runs in my family. I drank EVERY day for 6 years. I beat myself up over it for the last 3. I decided to give it up this year for lent.. March 9th… I guess todays the 25th and I have stuck to it, but I still feel sad when i go home after a long day and realize that I cant have my “friend” which used to be alcohol… this is hard, but I want to be proud of myself after I’ve done it so I’m sticking to it, but not without struggle on weekend nights while I’m all alone… Good luck to everyone whos trying.. thats the first step. This blog really helps. xo
Melissa – I sincerely admire your strength and courage. Good luck to you. We are all rooting for you!
I know this the last post is back on the 26th of March. But last Friday I started a diet which included NO alchohol for 7 days… I have since decided to go 42 which is the amount of time before my vacation. Today is my 5th day, it has been quite a challenge so far, and every time I am sitting around at home or get home from work, i just feel something is missing. This blog and posts have been helpfull and very inspiring. Thanks everyone and good luck!!
Smed – good luck on your 42-day journey. As you probably already know, take it at a day-at-a-time pace. We’ll be thinking of you.
Good for you Alex – let’s hope you appreciate feeling fresher and calmer hopefully be more efficient and productive without alcohol.
I was told by my doctor to stop for 6 weeks as liver results were raised. I am on day 8 and struggling already. I know I have to do it and I do feel better but the thought of no wine is scarey. any advice appreciated.
Helen; asking for help is the first step. Try to limit alone time and stay connected with groups. I’ll be thinking of you.
Alex
Thanks.
I am doing ok, day 13! I do feel happier and more alert. Have managed to get through a party and meals out. But still crave a glass of wine after a day at work
Day 13 is amazing Helen – just keep going one day at time.
It’s amazing, the first comment was made May 6, 2008 and it’s now 6/28/2011… (3 years) I want to say thank you for continuing to respond to people and for all of the encouragment that you have brought to everyone, including myself…
I am soon ending day 3 without a drink… It is very challenging now… I really hope that it gets easier than what it has been… I’m sure that it will.
Last Saturday night, My family and I went on a camping trip… I started drinking beer at 2pm. I had 10 – 11 beers and then decided to have my normal glass of scotch with a little extra… Normally, I drink 8oz with a few beers prior everyday… Saturday, I had 14oz on top of the 10 – 11 beers and passed out at about 1:30am… The next day, I woke up and it was all I could do not to get sick… I never did, but then I felt like I had a serious problem with alcohol due to not being sick amongst other reasons…
I have contemplated quiting for quite sometime now for my sake, but primarily for my kids and wife’s sake… Rather than just trying to quit cold turkey, It makes complete sense to try to just quit for 100 days…
Day 1: Was pretty easy for me considering the circumstances from Saturday night… All I wanted to do was sleep and start a new day the next day… It was kind of hard at night as far as the glass of scotch just before I went to bed due to my usual habit…
Day 2: Went to work wondering what I was going to do when I got home (have a drink or not)… Then I found this blog… I decided against it… I will tell you, I tossed and turned about all night and had some pretty crazy dreams (nothing bad) just weird dreams…
Today – Day 3: It was a struggle… The best thing that I could possibly think of to do was mow my grass just as soon as I got home from work… I didn’t use my riding mower because it happens to have a beer holder on it (I mean a drink holder) so I decided to push mow almost an acre up and down hills… This wore me out… It also gave me more time to talk to God as well as thinking about the positive way I felt about doing this whole 100 day thing… I will say that it was very nice to take a break mowing and enjoying a very nice glass of cold ice water (well 2 glasses) It was only 91 today with 65% humidity… God held the rain off for me to finish… I was so happy about this because if it were to start raining before, I would have had to find something else to do with my time this evening…
Tomorrow: I plan on putting the rest of the camping stuff up as well as setting my tent up in my back yard so that it can finish drying out… This will at least tie more time up with doing something productive just as soon as I get home from work…
I should also say that I have successfully lost 4 pounds now (not that I am really doing this to lose weight)… I am only 15 pounds overweight, but It’s nice to feel great and actually look forward to losing my beer gut…
I will follow up with an addtional post here in a few days letting everyone know how it’s going for me… I would greatly appreciate all of your prayers…
Hi Justin,
You do have my prayers and I’m sure the prayers of everyone else who understands this struggle.
Your one-day-at-at-time approach is courageous. Additionally, filling the time that is usually spent drinking is a great strategy.
Please check back with us – we’re all rooting for you.
After 20yrs of hard drinking im ready for a change.. Ive been to AA and rehab but something thi time is different. Im 38 ihave ulcers, im bloated and have a beer gut, joint and muscle pains, memory problems, and i have balance probs.. I drink to blackout, do things i shouldnt and ihate my life.. Im depressed, full of fear and i suffer DT’s almost evertime im out now.. i spend all my money on booze, im not attractive.. Im ruining my life!! Im on day 5 bwithought booze and i too feel i cannot live without my fav thing in the whole wide world!! ALCOHOL!!! My love my life!! I just hope i can take these stories and make my life a sober one so i can sop hating myself and the mess im in.. The bondage to drinking!!!
The will the change Jeffrey is powerful – surrender to it and image the life you could have. I’ll be praying for you.
Hi Alex, just read your story about going 100days without a drink, I’m trying to go one year. I’ve just passed nine months on Thursday and can’t see the final three months being a problem. My life has changed so much for the better it is unbelievable, i do sometimes fancy a beer but really want to get to a year. I think I had a big drink problem before stopping, I’d lost my job, through drink, and lots of self worth, I’ve got them both back, just one question. Do you think it’s possible to go back to controlled drinking after this year, I wasnt in control of it after I lost my job, but do miss the fun sides to social drinking, I’m 31 years old. Thanks….
Jo – congratulations on getting through nine months. I admire your strength and determination. I get the sense you will make it another three months.
Regarding your question, I think you already know the answer.
Yours in strength,
Alex
Alex, so how did the 100 days turn out? I’m on day 8 going for 30, then going for another 30 etc.
I wonder if there is some way to go without drinking without always thinking about NOT drinking.
Marcus, I only made it to Day 53.You can read why, here: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/living-with-the-complicated-glass/
Great for you for getting to Day 8. It truly is one day at a time, and on most days, (to be honest), I think about drinking.
I have started my 100 days today Alex. I have challenged myself before and have managed over 100 days in the past but not for the last eight years. Now I feel the need for some clarity again. Like you I am the son of an alcoholic parent and have never really felt comfortable about my own relationship with alcohol. I don’t get drunk, never miss work or fail on commitments, but the guilt is still there. Breaks are always a good experience for me, and weightloss is an added bonus – here goes!I have logged on to your website several times over the last few years and value your perspectives on life – take care.
Steve, I know where you are right now brother. Your relationship with alcohol sounds just like mine. My prayers and encouragement will be with you every single day.
I drink to self medicate my depression as ridiculous as that sounds as everyone knows alcohol is a depressant, But its the only crutch that makes me feel better about life. The other reason is to help me concentrate (which again is a bull excuse) but I cant seem to computer program or do any project without a beer, its a major crutch.
I read Alan Carrs book about controlling alcohol and although I think alot of it is nonsense I agree with the “alcohol is a poison” premise. I decided to get my holiday out of the way and then quit for good. I have just got back from holiday and i’ve basically been hammered for 10 days straight and ive hated every minute of it, I slept for 14 hours most days in a haze when I should have been getting some sun. My family is scared im killing myself and so am I.
So I’m just starting day 4, I have had what feels like dodgy flu symptoms but I know they will pass. I went 26 days about four months ago on another attempt to quit. But i’m really done with it this time and hope I can make it to at least 100 days and then beyond.
This is an inspiring page.
Thanks
Mark.
Four days is amazing Mark. Be sure to celebrate every success!
100 days is a great start. I am a wonderful father raising my children on my own. I am what you would call a functional alcoholic. I have read post on here where people talk about drinking a few days out of the week. I have been drinking nightly for almost 12 years. Not just a glass of wine, but most nights a 12 pack of light beer. And still the following day functioned fine at work and through my fatherly duties. I quit drinking about a year and a half ago and it was hard in the beginning, cause I have sleep problems and beer helped me sleep? (So I thought?) It took me a few months to get my sleep under control ( 9 Months ). But life was looking great. Yet all my friends including my girlfriend were social drinkers . So on a SuperBowl Sunday I had a couple. That was my down fall. Then my unclce passed away. And I was only having a few beers here and there. That soon turned out to be a nightly thing again. Yet now it is about 8 light beers and I’m done some nights 12 and I feel horrible, not wanting to do anything the next day.? But I am reading this Blog for a reason. I am done again.. I like the days when I was clear. Tonight I am pushing forward. I have a youtube page, for those who wants to see what a normal person struggling with a stupid battle that God has allready claimed victory over looks like
.. Here it is and thank you for this blog. James .. http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJamesdean73
James, thanks for sharing your story. Daily temptation is one of the hardest parts of recovery. I admire your courage for sharing your story. Thanks for the link, too – it’s great!
i started drinking when i was 19 yrs old since then i was a heavy drinker. almost everyday i got drank could consume 4 to 5 bottles of wine with my 3 drinking buddies and finished it up with beers. but that was 4 months ago. i stop drinking for 4 months already. it is really hard, lots of different withdrawal syndromes i kept on experiencing. yes its hard but determination and support from family could make you strong in facing a great challenge.
Reynard, whatever was your motivation was to stop, I’m glad you listened. Please know we are cheering for you. You can overcome this challenge – you can Reynard!
Three weeks on and its now day 25. In 48 hours I will have been sober for longer then anytime in my adult life.
The physical cravings are not so much of an issue now, its all psychological. The thought of not drinking again and the sheer boredom are the main problems.
So at the minute its just the old cliche one day at a time. I know I won’t drink today and thats pretty much all I need to know for now.
Mark, celebrate each day and how you feel about yourself at the end of each one. I wish you continued strength and love.
Today is now day 50. I went to an AA meeting on Friday as I try to maintain this. Its going well I hope to be back to mark 75 days
50 days is a awesome milestone Mark – congratulations! I’m happy you are getting the support you need.
Managed to do 40 days without a drink now and can honestly say it’s not bothering me too much at the moment .my problem has always been that I won’t drink through the week, but on a weekend out will binge drink to excess. the problem with alcohol with me is that it leads to all the other bad stuff smoking, recreational drugs , that’s why I’ve decided to quit for good this time ,just hope I can get through Christmas as I’ve noticed a lot of my social circle are putting pressure on me to drink .
Paul, the holidays are tough. Make sure you surround yourself with a good support system. Also, find flavorful non-alcoholic drinks you enjoy so you always have something in your hand. I’ll be praying for you.
Hey Alex,
I decided to quit drinking after 14 years of hard consumation. I started september 18, 2011 and I am currently on day 76 of my 90 day goal! I believe that after day 20, things seem to get a lot easier. I hope on my 90th day I choose to go another 90… we’ll see…
this blog was extremely inspirational. i appreciate you posting it.
Hugh – good for you! You must feel very encouraged. Remember, no expectations about the future – just take one day at a time!
Yep. ONE day at a time.
I was reading through and hadn’t seen any updates on your status Alex. How is your journey of sobriety going?
Hugh – I didn’t make it 100 days. Details here: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/living-with-the-complicated-glass/
So,I take it one day at a time and lean on my faith so I don’t fall too hard.
Alex
I had 104 days today. The reason i do it is because i want to be sober. Alcahol has destroyed me life and my family. I dont know how long i will be sober, but i dont believe in luck and i will only make it if i get support from a group or institution. AA has worked fine so far, but they say you cannot do it without a beleive in a higher power. Because of this i fear i will not make it. The concept of “god” or a god of some sort or a higher power is just to improbable and incomprehensible. My mom tells me: Just submit to gods will and i ask here how? Its impossible if iam honest to myself. It would be the same as lying to myself and the truth is all that matters to me. (what a dilemma) But hey so far i managed to be sober for 104 days with only raw will power and supposely help from AA, which i dont doubt has helped me in understanding the problem and altso helped me alot to strengten me with hope, but i will not last forever. Nothing lasts forever. If i die without ever drinking again it will propable be as a liar. No fucking way and thats because i have a big ego? (dilemma again) Okay so i have a big ego because i dont beleive in a godlike figure iam am dishonest towards myself because i go to AA and iam having a alcahol problem because iam sick? So the only cure is a beleive in a higer power? Its to simple. If the AA program was moore like. AA for athiest and agnostics. Then it would make sense, because almost everyone in a AA has a lack of believe. So my question is what is believe and can you be sober for 100 times 100 days without a higer power? Thanks in advance…
Elias, then just do it for yourself; stay sober for yourself so you can experience how it feels – not because you think a higher power wants you do it, but because you want to do it.
Hi all.
I just came across this blog after typing into Google, How to live without alchohol. I have quit before but now I want to live without the grog. It complicates my life, and I am now up to day 7. No worries so far. I think I will struggle when I get boared or around those usual after work times when I used to have a beer or 10! I wish I knew what to do when these times hit. Thanks for all your stories, just what I needed.
7 days is remarkable Chris; try replacing your drinking time with other activities – working out, being with friends, or taking up a new hobby. The most important thing is to find an activity you enjoy and then do it at the time of day when you used to drink. Keep staying strong. We are rooting for you!
I came across this blog through Google, in search of some support in my recovery.
I have been a heavy drinker for the past 4 years. My dad died of cancer when I was 32.. and haven’t stopped drinking since.
I’ve been sober for 7 days now. The physical withdraws have subsided now it’s coping with mental torment..
Reading everyones experiences is very encouraging. Thank you!
Hi Chrissy,
I’m sorry to hear about your father. No question it’s been a tough road. Even though I don’t know how you feel, I lost my mom two years ago and my brother died in October.
I can feel the power and feeling of your words, you have encouraged me. Stay strong and reach out anytime you need a shoulder.
Alex
Hey Alex,
I’m so very sorry for your loss of your mom and brother.. you do know how I feel. Death isn’t a easy thing to deal with. And I didn’t deal well at all. My father suffered to the fullest.. and I was there for it all.. I took a leave of absence from work so my mom could continue her job. So I was the one to take him to radiation, give him his medicine, etc. I was “daddy’s little girl”… it was the hardest thing to watch him take his last breathe..
The drinking started during his sickness.. there were days I would sit in the kitchen at 9am in the morning with a bottle of wine in front of me just downing it.. just to deal with hearing my dad in such severe pain.
It’s almost 10 days that I haven’t had a drink and I feel pretty good. Alot of emotions are starting to surface.. things that I drank away.. now the work starts…
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.. thank you.
Oh and thanks for listening to me ramble on and on lol
Hello all. Today is day 11 and seem to be going ok with the grog thing. The real problem has now emerged, the one that I tried to push away for all these years. I need to find out what is troubling me, so that I can deal with it and move on. I lost my mum 20 years ago, my dad 13 years ago and my first born child 8 years ago. He was 1 week from turning 1. These would have to be the issues, even though I feel ok about them?? Any thoughts?
Chrissy – thanks for sharing your story, and heart! 10 days is amazing Chrissy. Let’s stay strong together!
Chris – So true. Drinking is but a symptom; finding the cause is the key. Good luck to you – I’ll be rooting for you!