How to Find Your Center | The BridgeMaker

How to Find Your Center

By on Aug 18, 2013

find your center

Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate. – Zhuangzi

Do you remember when you last played that ultimate game of tennis where you felt invincible? Do you remember that time when you played that game of poker so well, that you were sure that if you played that in a professional tournament, you’d go away with the top prize?

Do you remember when you last felt truly like you could do anything?

For me, that place in my mind is a very specific point. My mind, body and spirit all seem to work in harmony to almost guarantee success.

I’ve been in that place many times. It’s a beautiful place, it’s an emotional state dead in the middle of being too overzealous, over confident, or arrogant; and the place of lacking confidence, and totally dis-believing in myself.

Can you replicate that feeling at will? Can you replicate the state you were in that allowed you play at your peak?

It’s not something that’s easy to do but that’s what personal development is all about for me. Not being in control of my emotions, but also not being a slave to them either.

For me it’s about being in a place, where I remember to apply the things I’ve learned at the times when I most need them.

The way I’ve been reaching there as of late is by finding my center, and becoming centered.

Finding your center will yield challenges, and when the challenges arise, the question to ask is: Will you be able to center yourself in those moments?

The Journey Begins

My journey of finding my center began when I was around 15 years old, which was about 21 years ago. It started with me learning meditation and being taught a very particular spiritual paradigm.

At the age of 21 that journey took another twist when I came very close to taking my own life. Fortunately, I didn’t, and I came across a book which came into my life at exactly the right moment. Then my life took another interesting turn about eight years ago when my health was so bad, I felt like I was eating myself into a very early grave.

I made the conscious choice to turn it around and to once again find the joy in running, jumping up and down and playing like a kid again.

What do all these events have in common? All of them were my teachers bringing back into balance. They all reminded me to become centered.

What is Being Centered?

In each of us lies, the ultimate angel and the devil incarnate. In each of us lies the potential to experience ultimate bliss and ultimate depression. In each of us is positive and negative in equal measure. What defines us is the decisions and choices we make.

Going beyond decisions and choices, is a place called the center. It’s the place where you completely, totally and loving accept that you are a bi-polar being. You have both the light and dark. The goal in life is not to suppress one and acknowledge the other, but to accept and appreciate the purpose that each serves.

Each side of the spectrum serves its purpose in our lives and it’s the beauty of the relative universe that we life in. You would not understand or know happiness, were it not for sadness. We would not rise up against evil if it didn’t exist and know the warrior within each of us.

Even in the world of science, there are two worlds which collide, that of relativity and of the quantum. Neither is right or wrong, they both exist, and present us with very different views of the universe and how it is we’re able to exist in this plain.

It is not about always finding the middle ground, or sitting on the fence, or not having an opinion. You still have an absolute right to your emotions and opinions, but it’s about being centered when you deliver them.

It is about letting go of the control of any of the outcomes. Frustration sets in when we want things to go a certain way or want things to happen according to our plan. But as soon as you let them go and become centered, suddenly you feel free and that is when outcomes begin to shape themselves to you.

How to Begin

People often have the highs and lows, but they want to know how to become more stable. They want to know how to be more consistent and have more stability.

It always begins with a choice.

Emotions are just a temporary thing. One day you could be as happy as a kid in a candy shop, the next you could be wishing to end your own life. The difference between the two states is often just a single event.

When starting your day, begin by saying this very simple thing to yourself: No matter how things unfold in front of me today, I will remain centered because I understand that life is a relative dichotomy. I have no control over the events, only how I choose to respond to them.

Starting your day with this, or just trying to remember this as often as you can. As your day unfolds and events take you in various directions, remind yourself that even what is initially perceived as a bad event, ultimately is there as your teacher to remind you to become centered.

When you practice this, you’ll be less likely to go through the extremes of emotions that can happen over the course of a day, a week, a month or even a year and you’ll be in a balanced state. You will find yourself feeling more harmonious within and less prone to emotional ebb’s and flows.

This is truly the beginning to the center of you.

Amit Sodha is a coach, blogger, speaker and comedian. You can find out more about becoming centered at his blog – or by connecting with him on Twitter @amitsodha.

  • Kelly Wiseman

    Very nice Amit!

    • amitsodha

      Hi Kelly, thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed.

  • Kathy

    Hi Amit – I enjoyed this post and your thinking resonates with me. I’m very much for trying to find the equilibrium in life, sometimes up, sometimes down etc and realising that change is the only constant. I call that sweet spot that you speak of when you feel centred as being ‘in your flow’ – the universe is working through you and you don’t need to do anything (except stay in that space).

    • amitsodha

      Hi Kathy, lovely to hear your take on this and what you call it too and that is exactly it. It’s in that fulfilled state where you don’t need to reach for anything else. Thank you so much for sharing, all the very best.

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