How to Change the Way You Look at Life | The BridgeMaker

How to Change the Way You Look at Life

By on Dec 15, 2010

Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate or value into your life. – Christiane Northrup

In a recent conversation with a dear friend I was venting some anger towards a colleague who was promoting a high-end, short term program that people were signing up for. Why was I pissed off?

Because I’m in a lot of transition and feeling financial crunches like many others.

“It’s not fair!” my inner child was screaming. “I’m a good person! I deserve to thrive financially.

My friend was lovingly chuckling as she replied, “She’s really working for you, isn’t she?”


So, I let my anger rip and expressed everything that was bubbling up inside including giving God a piece of my mind.

It’s all about “Me”

Have you ever noticed how much is revealed about YOU, when you allow your emotions and thoughts to be fully expressed?

You can learn so much about the beliefs and pain you’ve been holding onto from the past that is ready to be healed and released. The anger, frustration, jealousy, comparisons, not good enough, victim consciousness….was all about ME, not her.

The emotions that were activated provided the pathway for my healing. Now as I look at the work she is doing, I am grateful that she has found something valuable to share that helps others. And she has every right to ask for what she wants!

Service to our healing

Moving through my own healing process showed me where I was still holding myself back. I realize that I can ask for what I want and still be aligned with my soul purpose and service to others.

Reactions, especially ones that have a strong emotional charge, show you where you have unresolved pain from the past that is often towards yourself.

Everyone and everything that we experience in life is in service to our healing, personal growth, and evolution.

  • The person who you feel hurt you may have caused you to find your voice and stand up for yourself, perhaps for the first time. I had a falling out years ago with a friend who I felt was trying to tell me how to live my life. Looking backwards, I thank her for helping me step into a stronger place of self-trust and confidence.
  • The boss who fired you may have done you a favor by releasing you from a job that you hated but were too scared to leave. You might have been feeling a longing to do something else and now you can.
  • You’re in relationship or marriage that is bringing more misery than joy despite your best efforts. You might feel trapped, guilty about leaving, or feel obligated to stay the course. You might know in your heart that this relationship is complete – that the reason you came together is done.

What needs to be healed?

Your life experiences have caused you to become who you are today. We have all done things out of pain, anger, fear that has brought out the worst rather than the best of who we are.

And in order to heal and grow we must have an exit valve to express and release our thoughts and feeling rather than stuffing them inside to wreak havoc on our bodies, our well-being and our connection to Source.

The key is not getting stuck in the “blame game”, righteous indignation, anger or rage, wanting or delighting in revenge, justice seeking, unforgiving, or wishing serious harm to another. These thoughts and emotions can be a pathway to healing and forgiveness as well as raising our vibrations to be more aligned with our natural state of love.

Or they can create a darkness that consumes your heart and makes your life one of misery and loneliness.

Have the feelings and thoughts – let them out and then allow them to release. Continuing to replay them over and over gives them life to become your life story.

I admit there are times when a part of me screams for justice and revels in satisfaction when I feel “the punishment fit the crime.” At the same time I can feel compassion for everyone involved because I know that at our core, we are all part of the Divine and connected in consciousness.

Grief and sadness lies beneath anger. As long as we remain judgmental and unforgiving, we are unable to release the pain and come to a place of resolution and inner peace. When we can view each experience as a healing and growth opportunity that brings us closer to our Divinity, we can release the pain through forgiveness and open our heart to feel gratitude and joy. Joy connects us to love, which are our true nature and the essence of God.

So, the next time you have a strong reaction to something or someone, be open to recognize how that person or situation has shown up in service to YOU. The feelings and thoughts you are experiencing will reveal what is asking to be healed. Be willing to separate the truth from the story or drama that is being activated within you so that you can choose to show up from the best of who you are.

Celebrate the goodness

And when you are not at your best, make amends so that you can create opportunities to restore harmony and connections with others.

Celebrate all that is right with you and your world. Appreciate all the richness you have in your life rather than focusing on what another did or said you didn’t like. Remember to look for all the ways the Universe conspires in your favor to make you smile.

We live in a time where people live in great pain and fear. Have the courage and willingness to heal the pain and shadows within you so that your light can shine more brightly in the world all year round, not just during the holidays!

Check out one of my favorite books by Neale Donald Walsch called, The Little Soul and the Sun: A Children’s Parable Adapted from Conversations with God.

It will change the way you look at life.

Lorraine Cohen is the CEO and founder of Powerfull Living. Join Lorraine on May 15 and 17 for two FREE calls: Awakening to Love: Revealing Your Courageous Heart in an Insane World. You are invited to register here.

  • Hi Suzie. Great to connect with you here! I’ve been watching and hearing the comments about seeing our ego as something bad that needs to be abolished. I firmly belive that our egos have a real value at being able to help you assess, reason, and logically work out problems rather than to guide us emotionally. This is awakening we are experiencing today by realizing who we really are spiritually, not mind and ego. The key is balancing both our humanity and spirituality to work in concert so that our egos can be of service to our soul.

    We are human beings! And when we have those reactions that are “workin for us” to see where there is pain being held within, we can bless the person or situation for opening our eyes and our hearts.


  • Oh yes that anger ( ego) Just when you think you have become more spiritually aware and able to take things as they come, alongs comes a hit! Sometimes even taking you by surprise. I watched myself get pissed off this week over something very small that inconvenienced me……Seems I still have work to do
    thanks for sharing

  • Dear Farnoosh. Thank YOU!

    I feel so much joy for you and for me because we are all in this together. Like you there have been times when I have handled things from pain that I wish woudl have been different. I am reminded that in those moments, that was the best that I could be where I was.

    I have faith that no matter how we show up that it is always in service to another – perhaps to help them find compassion and forgiveness (us too) so we can embrace our humanity with love.