Have the Last Say Over Your Life | The BridgeMaker

Have the Last Say Over Your Life

By on May 01, 2013

14 Comments


the last say 2

Let this be my last word, that I trust in your love. – Rabindranath Tagore

For many of us, sometime in our childhoods certain words defined who we thought we were. Words like stupid, incompetent, lazy, ugly and worthless cut deep, painful holes into our souls. I know because words like these cut holes into me, too.

When I was six years old, I had to start wearing eyeglasses. The words I heard then can still haunt me today. Words like:
- Four eyes
- Sissy
- Egghead
- Momma’s boy
- Baby

It’s no secret the motivating factor for getting LASIK eye surgery was to wipe these words away for good. But I think what I really did was just tuck them under a safer layer so their viciousness wouldn’t be as painful.

It’s also no secret that a motivating factor for becoming a writer is to give myself the opportunity to say the words I was too afraid to say as a young boy.

New Words

As adults, we can find new words that won’t have the last say over our lives. With this awareness also comes a choice: Do we dare say these words or not?

I plan to say these new words to everyone I know. I plan to write these words every chance I get and I will shout these new words from the rooftop so there’s no misunderstanding that these words are the words of who I say I am now.

New words, like…
- Strong
- Courageous
- Worthy
- Confident
- Secure
- Sensitive
- Competent
- Beautiful
…are words that reach under that layer and provide healing for my wounded soul.

The Last Say

Like you, I can’t go back in time and prevent the painful words from being said. Nor can I erase their impact or make the bullies take their words back. These words belong to the past and to the people who spoke them.

These words won’t have the last say about me. The last say comes down to one simple word, love.

I will love myself a little more each day. I will give love to the weak and to the powerless; I will extend love to those who work against me; and I will show love for each day I’m given.

Love will walk with me; it will watch over me and love will ground me when I’m tempted, angry or anxious.

Love will be my savior and my best friend. It will continue to teach me about happiness, gratitude and joy. Love will silence my doubt and it will protect my forgiving, healing heart from further damage.

But more than anything, love gives me the courage to realize that I get to have the last say over my life.

A Special Presentation of Today’s Post

I’ve created a SlideShare presentation of today’s post to give you a different experience. This presentation reads more like a book than a blog post and it contains many more pictures. I hope you enjoy it. Reading by emai? Click through to the site to view this special presentation.

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The BridgeMaker Founder Alex Blackwell is the author of Letting Go: 25 True Stories of Peace, Hope and Surrender. Join the community to connect, share and inspire: Email | Twitter | Facebook | More Posts

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  • http://halinagoldstein.com/blog Halina Goldstein

    Somehow, the title of your post, and perhaps the fact that transforming our relationship with death has become such a primary point of focus for me…. your post made me think of last words as such. It could be “Am I dying, or is this my birthday?” (Lady Nancy Astor’s final words) or it could be “I’m tired of fighting” (these were my mother’s last words), it could be “Beautiful” (Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s last word).

    Anyhow, while we certainly cannot control what our last words will be, we can have certain preferences. Just off the top of my head, I’d like mine to be “Thank you for everything”. What we can do then is decide to live in a way that is in alignment with those intended words — and than just do our best to live accordingly, when we can.

    Just like you do, Alex! Thank you for being such a genuine inspiration.

    • http://www.thebridgemaker.com/ Alex Blackwell

      Hi Halina, somehow I get the feeling that you are living in alignment with your words – and deeds. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and encouragement!

      • http://halinagoldstein.com/blog Halina Goldstein

        Well, thank you Alex, and let me respond this way:
        I really am grateful for everything (although I don’t realize that right away always ;-) ) and that includes being grateful for my countless imperfections, big and small. :-) :-)

  • Brenda

    Alex- I have been following you and reading your blog for awhile now…and I swear, most times it just truly gives me the inspiration that I’m looking for exactly at the right time. I’m currently trying to “redefine” who I see myself as- giving myself new definitions according to the transformation that I’ve had. Honestly, “love” encompasses so much of what I’m trying to do right now- not only for myself, but also to reach out for that calling that’s been put on me. Thanks so much for saying the right thing at the right time- AGAIN. :)

    • http://www.thebridgemaker.com/ Alex Blackwell

      Hi Brenda,

      Thank you for walking the journey with me. Like you, I’m finding that discovering love for myself and learning how to love others in real and authentic ways is helping me keep the past in the past. Let’s continue encouraging each other!

      Alex