5 Ways to Maintain Face-to-Face Connection | The BridgeMaker

5 Ways to Maintain Face-to-Face Connection

By on Oct 04, 2012

13 Comments


When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with another – and ourselves. – Jack Kornfield

This is not rocket science and there’s certainly nothing new here. But with screens and fingers taking over, our faces seem to be getting a bit blurry.

Actually my eyes are getting a lot blurry focusing on the computer so much. As much as we’re building wonderful online relationships and communities (Alex is a beautiful example of one for me) and spreading words and ideas in an unprecedented way, we must not forget that we humans need the real thing. And the real thing occurs in person.

The real:
Connection
Communication
Vulnerability
Intimacy
Closeness
Compassion

Plugged into from all ends

We need to look into each other’s eyes. We need to see facial expressions and body language. We need to feel those vibes. We need to feel that chemistry, or not. We need to touch, to hug, to hold a hand.

We need to converse in a dialoguing way. We need to listen and hear another with our entire being. We need to see one another for who we are, flaws and all.

There used to be a time when sitting at the table reading the paper or watching TV was the no-no. We’ve now advanced to things that we’re personally plugged into from all ends – the waist, the hip, the pocket, the ear, the hand.

5 Ways of Maintaining Connection

I recently read a wonderful post on ways to make your child feel loved. I thought to myself how beautifully this applies to us all.

And so here are five ways of maintaining the all-important human species connections. After all we don’t want to become extinct, do we?

We don’t want screens to take over bodies and technology to fossil us out where they’ll (whoever the they might be then – robots?) be digging for our brains to figure out what went wrong with the God-given human species.

Let’s hold onto ourselves and our humanness by:
(The pre-requisite for these are NO DEVICES)

  1. Spending time alone with one another.
  2. Having evening or mealtime talks about the day.
  3. Going outside to play and have fun.
  4. Setting boundaries to enforce that precious time to speak about issues as well as goals and successes. Secure that sacred time.
  5. Giving our attention by listening well.

We all desire attention, praise, recognition, comfort, acknowledgement. These are basic human needs. That good old-fashioned undivided attention is what’s desperately needed not just for children but for all people.

Let’s remember to connect with those in front of us, look into each other’s eyes when conversing and secure a separate time to connect with our screen people. We all know it’s often easier to connect well with ‘virtual’ people.

The screen serves as our protective barrier to the real deal. But the richness of relationships, struggles and all, come with our face-to-face connections.

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Harriet Cabelly is a social worker and life coach emphasizing living life to its fullest and creating a good life out of (or despite) adversity. She is passionate about helping people create meaning and joy in their lives, and making a difference. Read more about her at Rebuild Your Life Coach and read the latest from her blog.

  • http://www.vidyasury.com/ Vidya Sury

    What a cozy feeling reading this post, @harrietcabelly:disqus – as someone who spends a lot of time offline, I am absolutely about making face to face connections, touching, experiencing real-time laughter and live interaction. If the internet were to disappear tomorrow, my only regret would be this – missing the PEOPLE I’ve met. Sigh. Hugs. Beautiful post.

    Thank you, Alex!

    • http://rebuildlifenow.com/ Harriet Cabelly

      Hi Vidya,
      Cozy – I like that! Glad to hear face-to-face is what you live by. Humans always need to come first. Technology is our enhancement, not the be-all end-all.

  • http://glynisj.com/ Glynis Jolly

    Hi Harriet,

    This is one of those great posts you want everyone to read. I, personally, am going to forward it to my husband and my sister-in-law. Then I’ll rely of social media to do the rest.

    Absolutely wonderful.

    • http://rebuildlifenow.com/ Harriet Cabelly

      Hi Glynis,
      So pleased this resonated so for you that you’re passing it on. Nice to ‘meet’ you here.