Discovering the Unexpected
None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives. – Kathleen Norris
Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.
The unexpected can change our lives.
When changes occur, our daily patterns, lifestyles and relationships can be enhanced and taken to the next level. We can develop new insights. New opportunities will present themselves that didn’t exist before.
Discovering the unexpected is an a-ha moment in our lives when the dots become connected and the next steps we need to take become clear and exciting. The unexpected is what we worked so hard to achieve, dreamed for so long to come true and kept the faith in believing, even when we felt like giving up.
The unexpected can be little rocks and they can be big rocks. Little rocks look like the surprising telephone call you receive from a friend you have not heard from for years; or the unexpected tax refund check; or a snow day that keeps you home.
Unexpected big rocks look like the surprising promotion at work; or coming up with an idea that will change lives (including your own); or waking one day and finally realizing your life’s purpose and passion.
Watch for falling rocks ahead
An unexpected rock fell on me recently and caused me to have an a-ha moment.
Death is not only about endings, it’s about beginnings, too. The recent death of mother has been creeping inside my gut for the past couple of months. Her death happened at the same time we learned of Mary Beth’s diagnosis and the need to repair a brain malformation.
After returning from a quick, four-day visit to see my father the days following my mom’s death, it was time to help my family make preparations for my wife’s surgery and the long recovery period that would follow.
I pushed down many of the feelings that started to wake when my mother died. My focus was set on supporting my children through this difficult time and, of course, giving the same support to Mary Beth. There was little left for me.
Three weeks after my wife’s surgery, I took her to Virginia to be with her family for the remainder of her recovery period. Because of work commitments, I returned to Kansas. The time away from Mary Beth allowed me the opportunity to shift from being a caregiver to the one seeking some care.
During this time I discovered the unexpected.
I discovered my pain was more acute than I realized. The memories of my mother sitting in a dark room with a drink in one hand and the end of her cigarette providing the only light in her other hand, came flooding back. I mourn for that helpless child who wanted to make everything perfect so the lights would come back on again.
Those years shaped me and defined me in ways that need some changing today. I discovered to break free from the pain I need to address it once and for all, give it a name and then bury it.
So, now, it begins. I’m not sure what I will discover six months from now, but I’m sure it will be unexpected and filled with goodness and healing.
Inviting the unexpected
Approaching this journey, three separate concepts will help me anticipate the unexpected. I hope these will help you and will invite the unexpected in your life, too:
- Develop a plan, a vision, for what your future could hold.
Think of the question, “What would it would look like?” and apply this to as many areas of your life as possible. For example:- “What would it look like to be financially independent?”
- “What would it look like to give and receive the healing you have always longed for in life?”
- “What would it look like to be completely happy and free?”
An important part of expecting the unexpected is to hold a vision in your mind of what it would look like; what it would feel like. When you spend time vibrating on this positive feeling, it has a way of manifesting itself in your life.
- Act when information is available.
When the door begins to open and you see a faint beam of light seep through the crack, this is when you can confidently place your hand on the handle of the door, turn it, open the door even wider, and then step through. When you receive information that begins to answer the question, “What would it look like?” it is time for deliberate action. - Expect the Unexpected.
Wait for it and watch for it. Know deep down in your soul the unexpected will happen for you. However, the unexpected may look completely different than the image you might have for it. As a result, balance, faith, and patience are the best tools to use in order to discover the unexpected.
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Comments
14 Responses to “Discovering the Unexpected”
What do you think?
Hi Alex,
Thanks for this beautifully written, inspiring and thought provoking article.
It brings back for me times when I wish I had been more open, shared more of me with my mother.
I agree, balance, faith, and patience are the best tools
namaste
Suzie
@ Suzie: These are indeed “power tools!”
Hi Alex! How is Mary Beth now? Thankyou for the blessings of this article. I’m not really sure how to apply it, but perhaps it will come to me in time.
Thankyou!
@ Jasmin: Mary Beth is doing great. She is back at work and feeling stronger every day – thanks for checking on her!
I’m glad you have learned something from the loss of your mother. Thinking ahead in life is a great way to possibly discover opportunities that you haven’t yet explored.
I’m sure everything will work out for you in the end. Keep well, Alex and thanks for this heartfelt post.
The term you used, “bury the pain”, may have been just a slip of the tongue on your part. At least I hope so.
Burying the pain is what you mom did with her cigarette and drink in her hand. I don’t think that is what you want to do with your life.
You have to wade through the pain and most importantly feel it in order to heal it and have it go away. If you don’t feel it, you find some way to bury it back inside your body and it waits and waits until some time in the future to come back and bite you in the *** when you least expect it and can least afford it to. Often those buried emotions are what our diseases of the body and mind are all about.
@ Patricia: You make a good point. My intent with the “bury the pain” comment was to indicate that I want to move on. Agree with the notion we first have to acknowledge what we want to change.
Time heals all…I love you and your beautiful family
Hiding and holding the pain is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater.
@ Lori Ann: Thanks for being there for us.
@ Anita: Excellent image. Good reminder to let the air out if you are trying to get rid of the beach ball.
Hi Alex
You have no idea what reading this article has done for me. I guess I’m at that point in my life that Patricia refers to as the pain “coming back in your life to bite you in the ***”. I’ve overcome the impossible obstacles, I’ve acquired the material things I said I would but I still have this dull ache and sense of emotional turmoil….
I prayed for guidance and even changed my password to be that request because I’m ready to heal. I so want to move on.
I guess I also had no idea that my pain was this acute. Even worse – I was convinced I was ok for the longest of time!
I am so grateful for this community. Thank you Alex for the unexpected.
My son told me to check out your blog and I must say I’m impressed, very helpful.
@ Zandi: So glad you are here.
@ Cristiano: Welcome!
When my unexpected happen I was confused and dazed for about a year and half. My husband left me after 35 years of marriage for my girlfriend of 25 years and announced it at my daughters wedding.
I have since moved to start a new life in Cincinnati – kicking and screaming but the doors that are opening for me are fantastic. Our God is an awesome God.
I have started my on own ministry to help others heal, became a Life Coach. My ministry is called Patchwork Ministry – Putting the Pieces of Our Lives Back Together Again. My web site will soon be up and I will have a ebook available about my struggle and how God saved me.
I love your insights and have used a couple of them in classes I have taught.
I have also been accepted into the National Speakers Women’s Ministry of the Nazarene Church and hoping to do this full time. God does amazing things. I keep saying why my story and he keeps telling me why not it will inspire some one that they will make it.
Blessings
Linda St Myers