We read to know we are not alone. – C.S. Lewis

This weekend marks the unofficial end of summer. Most schools will be back in session next week, vacations have been enjoyed and home project lists are growing. But, there is still this weekend.

If you are interested in spending your remaining summer days doing some reading, I invite you to grab your favorite beverage, nestle in a comfortable spot and consider this late-summer reading list.

The following articles are ones you may have missed. The first eight are the most popular articles over the last 12 months. The last two are my personal favorites. I hope you enjoy reading theses articles as much as I enjoyed writing them.

7 Simple Things to Do Everyday
Every day I attempt to go about my life with the best intentions. My goal is not to judge the bad days too harshly or the good days with too much jubilation, but to live somewhere in the middle. My middle is not filled with mediocrity or an area absent of passion; it’s simply a place of peace, knowing and balance. And part of living in the middle is doing seven simple things every day and then looking for the value in what happens next. [Read here]

22 Ways to Feel Alive Again
The following ways to feel alive again are ones that resonate with me and the results can be realized almost immediately. It is my hope I will begin learning to do more of these when I find myself feeling worn down and before my body meets the wall again. I hope you find some inspiration from this list, too. [Read here]

101 Ways to Love Each Other
By loving consciously, we discover love is the force that puts the world back together when it feels like it’s coming apart. It provides a sense of contentment and gratitude deep in our hearts and is the voice that tells us, “Everything will be okay.” Consider these ways to love each other and help create a world where beauty and grace can fill the hearts of everyone willing to give and then receive love’s gentle power. [Read here]

The Point of Being Human
Our lives will be measured by what we write on our hearts, not by what we write on our resumes. Our lives will be defined by the times when someone asked for our love and we gave it. Our lives will be shaped by the times when we asked for love and then received it. [Read here]

Finding the Beautiful You
Finding the beautiful you is not about finding perfection with how you look, but in accepting you are who you are for a reason. Perfection is not required, only joy in celebrating your special brand of compassion, talent and beauty. [Read here]

The Best Things in Life
The best things in life aren’t the things we have, but rather who we get to share these things with. The best things in my life were sitting with me on Thanksgiving Day. With my family, everything else is all the sweeter. [Read here]

Color My World with Change
The time between when we begin to feel the need for change and until the time we are ready to share our growth with the world may be cold and harsh. But our faith tells us that everything does have a season. Our bright colors that once announced our desire to change may soon fade when the reality of what we have to do in order to experience that change is understood. [Read here]

Isn’t Life Beautiful?
After showering and dressing for work, I walk back into the bedroom to wake my wife. For a brief moment, I get to see her see like no one else does. And in that moment, my wife is simply beautiful. [Read here]

Don’t Give Up on You
When you feel like giving up remember this one, simple truth: You are loved. Believe in this truth and use this certainty to rely on your faith and allow it to hold you together. [Read here]

Tracing Life Every Other Wednesday
My truth tells me that it’s not how I see myself when I feel covered in shame; my truth is how God sees me. My truth is what God says is the truth for me.Tracing life every other Wednesday is taking me to closer to this truth and to a place where redemption can live forever. [Read here]

The BridgeMaker is two-years-old!

The BridgeMaker turns two-years-old this week. What started as a kitchen-table hobby has grown into a passion. I sincerely appreciate you, the readers, for your support, encouragement and kind words along the way.

There have been many times when I considered quitting only finding an email the next day from a reader telling me how an article helped. You have made a difference in my life – thank you!

I will see you back here next year with another collection of posts to celebrate the blog’s three-year anniversary. Until then, it’s my honor to share the journey with you. – Alex

Fall seven times, stand up eight. - Japanese Proverb

The temptation to quit is strongest the day before you realize your heart’s desire. The enemy of your soul waits patiently and then whispers the words he knows will persuade you to give up:

You don’t deserve it. You can’t possibly achieve it. So, why bother?

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You listen. Nod in agreement and then raise the white flag to signal defeat. This is when the disappointment strikes you. The sudden blow takes your breath away. You fall to your knees trying to recover. The enemy of your soul gloats for a moment and then leaves you in your frustration.

The noise of the white flag flapping in the wind is one of the loneliest sounds you will ever hear.

That was then. This is now.

It doesn’t matter how many times you have given up; what matters is how you will respond the next time doubt surfaces. And what matters most is learning how to take down the white flag for good.

There have been plenty of times when I raised the white flag. The enemy of my soul has taken advantage of my fear and exposed my doubt more than once. I wish I didn’t quit the high school baseball team; I wish I didn’t give up on going to medical school and I wish I didn’t stop writing the book that I know is inside of me.

But that was then. This is now.

You do have the power to take down the white flag. The following are choices you can make whenever the enemy of your soul begins whispering its lie:

1. You are stronger than you think. Anything worth having is worth fighting for – no matter how long it takes. Know you do have the strength, the resolve, to confront any challenge and to learn from the setbacks you encounter along the way.

2. Anything is possible. Why not you and why not now? When an idea is placed in your mind, it is put there for good reason. Honor it. Pursue it. Recognize you have been charged with the responsibility of seeing the idea come to life. When you do, the impossible will be made possible.

3. Understand your limits. You can only do so much in a day, week, month or year. Realize there’s no stopwatch on you. Your time and attention will be diverted to other responsibilities. They do not go away simply because you are pursuing a new dream. Understand in your humanness you do have limits. Rather than being discouraged by these limits, celebrate them. These limits are reminders of the rich, full life you already have.

4. Ask for help. You are not alone. When doubt begins to takeover, turn to family, friends and other confidants to receive the support you need. I have never witnessed someone not receiving help when it is requested.

5. Make a difference. The achievement of your dream will make a difference. Use this fact as motivation when the whispering grows louder. Your purpose, your mission, is uniquely yours. You were created to make a difference like no else can.

6. You deserve happiness. If pursuing your dream, and then achieving it, brings you happiness, then know this: You deserve to be happy. No one is doling out happiness – it’s available for all.

7. Just a heartbeat away. Your arrival to the place you want to be is just a heartbeat away. You will know you are getting closer when the urge to quit becomes glaringly tempting. Push back with your newfound power. Claim what belongs to you and honor it by never turning away again.

8. One step everyday. Rather than measuring where you think you should be, measure where you once were compared to where you are today. Realize that getting to your dream is about taking one step each day. The steps don’t have to be measured in feet or yards; inches will do.

9. Ignore negative talk. Not everyone will be an encourager. When you come across these people, understand their negative comments define who they are; their comments don’t define who you are.

10. Be the inspiration. You touch people in ways you may never know. Your positive attitude, your relentless pursuit of a dream and your ability to ignore the malicious whispering and focus on the goal at hand is admirable. People are watching you. They are inspired by your extraordinary actions even if you consider them to be ordinary.

The next time the enemy of your soul whispers the lie, stay strong in your faith. Practice replacing the lie with the truth. The truth speaks the words to persuade you to never give up:

You are worthy to receive your heart’s desire. You can achieve it. Go be the person you were created to be. Take down the white flag. Raise hope for all to see. Listen to your new flag flapping in the wind and be nourished by its sound.

Energy and persistence conquer all things. – Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin, scientist, inventor and a principal architect of the United States Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, may have been the first self improvement expert, too.

In 1726, a young 20-year-old Franklin was crossing the Atlantic from England back to Philadelphia. During his 80-day journey, Benjamin Franklin used the time to develop a personal plan of conduct. His plan consisted of 13 virtues listed below.

Franklin committed to focusing on one virtue per week. At the end of the 13th week, he would start the process over again; thus, cycling through the plan four times a year. Ben Franklin followed this plan until his death at age 79. He found comfort and happiness in each of the virtues and used these to guide his entire life.

Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Virtues

Franklin tracked his progress on charts he created (image right). The first letter of each day was listed on the top and the first letter of each virtue was indicated down the left side. He would add a dot if he felt he fell short of meeting that virtue on a given day. Benjamin Franklin carried these charts with him as a reminder of his personal plan of conduct.

The following 13 virtues continue to be relevant today. Next to each virtue is Franklin’s definition. Underneath is my current self-critique. You are welcome to do your own analysis as you read:

1. Temperance (“Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.”)
My self-critique: My diet is the best it’s been in years. Donuts and French Fries are still a problem though. I have adopted the new habit of not drinking alcohol during the week, but I still have my share of beer and wine on the weekends.

2. Silence (“Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.”)
My self-critique: My goal is to limit the gossip and think before speaking, especially in contentious situations. One area I need to silence is speaking critically of others.

3. Order (“Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.”)
My self-critique: I like order. There’s something about structure and routine that comforts me. However, my penchant for order can stifle the need for “thinking outside the box.” Creativity and being challenged to take a new approach needs its time, too.

4. Resolution (“Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.”)
My self-critique: I take commitments and goals seriously. But there are times I ignore what my inner voice is telling me to do. Fear of change can dilute my determination to keep moving forward. Sometimes it’s just more comfortable to stay right where I am – this is when I abandon my resolve.

5. Frugality (“Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.”)
My self-critique: The past few months have been budget busters. Mary Beth and I agree we need to turn the spending habits into saving ones and learn new ways to be frugal.

6. Industry (“Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.”)
My self-critique: Checking email, Facebook and pointlessly surfing the Internet are my biggest time-wasters. I need to use this time more productively.

7. Sincerity (“Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.”)
My self-critique: This is my big win. While there is always room for improvement, I make the conscious choice everyday to be sincere, heartfelt and transparent as possible. But sometimes I confuse sincerity with kindness. Too often, I say what I think wants to be heard, rather than what I really think.

8. Justice (“Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.”)
My self-critique: There are times when I purposely hold back and not give what someone has asked to receive, or deserves to receive. I need to provide equal justice more often.

9. Moderation (“Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.”)
My self-critique: I can get caught up in the moment and stop listening to my good sense. I do this with work, my blog, exercise and the nights I enjoy a glass of wine, or two.

10. Cleanliness (“Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.”)
My self-critique: I’m good here, I think. I shower and brush my teeth (twice) everyday. Mary Beth has appointed me the official vacuum cleaning person at home. In full disclosure, I do have the habit of leaving my shaven hair in the bathroom sink.

11. Chastity (“Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.”)
My self-critique: I would never do anything that would disrespect my wife – period.

12. Tranquility (“Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”)
My self-critique: Writing brings me the most tranquility. At night, I plug into some music and allow the words to flow. When there is conflict at home or work, my anxiety soars and my tranquility plummets. I need to learn how to keep my balance better during these times.

13. Humility (“Imitate Jesus and Socrates.”)
My self-critique: I try. My heart is open to everyone and I attempt to live the examined life.

Accepting the 13-Week Self Improvement Challenge

So, it looks like I have some work to do.

Beginning today, I’m keeping a virtue chart. Tackling Temperance first, I will monitor my weekly progress. Using a tool Franklin didn’t have in the 18th century, I will provide my updates on The BridgeMaker page on Facebook.

For me, this challenge isn’t about trying to master each virtue perfectly; it’s about acknowledging the areas in my life that could use some improving right now.

I invite you to take the 13-week challenge with me. Here’s how:

• Download the Benjamin Franklin 13-Week Self Improvement Challenge chart (updated for the 21st century).
• Go to The BridgeMaker page on Facebook and “Like” the page if you are not already a community member. This is where I will post my updates.
• Read these weekly virtue updates on Saturdays – probably in the morning (U.S. Central time zone).
• Post a comment to share your progress with the challenge.

If you need some one-on-one encouragement during the challenge, contact me at alex@thebridgemaker.com and I will be happy to support you.

History tells us Benjamin Franklin died a happy man. I’m sure his life’s accomplishments contributed to his happiness, but I think staying centered on the things that matter most helped Mr. Franklin too.

Best wishes with your personal development challenge. We’ll check in with one another next Saturday.

You don’t have to go looking for love when it’s where you come from. – Werner Erhard

Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.

Hope finds you

Hide and Go Seek is a favorite game played by children. No special equipment is needed – just a little time and a good place to hide. One player is deemed as It while the other players go to their secret hiding places in hopes of not being found, tagged and then considered the new It.

As adults, we still have the tendency to hide. We hide our feelings, emotions, and secret wishes. We fear if these things are discovered then they could be subject to ridicule and perhaps never happen. Ironically, we long to be It. We hope to be the one with the power to find what is hiding.

Even though you may push your dreams to a dark place; the dreams will be found and brought back to see the light of day. The It that counts to ten before finding you, along with the dreams that belong to you, is hope.

Hope always wins. It seeks you out. It offers encouragement and gives you the faith to keep going. Hope provides the spark needed to catch fire once again. It plants the good ideas in your mind and then shows you the way there.

And even in your darkest moment, Hope finds you.

Glory finds you

You were made to be exactly who you are. You have a purpose. A path has been created to take you on a special mission. No matter your job, education or financial status, you are here to make a difference.

If your life brings happiness, security, and purpose to another life then you have accomplished your mission. Your name may never appear in lights and a statue may never be commissioned, but the glory of you will live forever.

Take pride in the simple beauty of you.

And when you feel like you aren’t making a difference, Glory finds you.

Mercy finds you

The things we do never go away. For better or worse, our deeds live right where we put them. When the words we choose hurt, the pain goes from an acute intensity to a dull reminder. When our actions cause sadness, trust takes a blow. When our thoughts drift to a dark place, our mind is kept from realizing the decency it deserves.

But no matter how far we fall, we can always change for the better. We can take our broken pieces and begin fitting them together again. Mercy welds these pieces back into their intended shape. We don’t have to do anything special to receive mercy; we just have to be sorry for what we have done.

Forgiveness is waiting.

And when you feel like you don’t deserve it, Mercy finds you.

Dignity finds you

Your best intentions are sometimes meant with indifference, discrimination, or worse. Some people find it necessary to show disrespect instead of support. Cruelty is used to influence rather than kindness. There are times when you are made to feel badly about who you are, what you believe and who you love.

However, humans are not made with a perfectly calibrated moral compass. Ignorance, prejudice, and intolerance can jam the signals given to us. When this happens, hurtful things are said and inappropriate behavior ensues.

No matter the words or actions fired at you, know this: You are a person of incredible value. God doesn’t make mistakes and He doesn’t make anyone who is subordinate to another.

Harsh words do sting; exclusion feels lonely and violence is terrifying, but you have the best repellent against all these things – your dignity.

And when you feel like they just might be right about you, Dignity finds you.

Love finds you

When you feel alone and your heart is breaking, hold on to the promise that relief is on its way. The space between the pain and hope’s arrival is soothed by love. Love knows what lives in your heart and it knows how to take care of you.

Shame, regret and anger are sometimes used to keep Love away. While these tactics have formidable strength in the beginning , their power begins to fade over time because love finds a way to tell you that you still count; you still matter; and you are still loved – no matter what.

Still suspicious of receiving Love’s grace? Wait for the compliment, discover the handwritten note, receive an unexpected telephone call or hear the right words at just the right time. This is love seeking you; finding you and then giving you just what you need.

Come out of hiding and embrace this truth. You no longer need to feel that love’s light is meant for everyone but you. Take in its warmth. Be re-energized by its power. Allow love to cover you like a coat – tailored to fit just your size.

And even when you have stopped looking for love, Love finds you.

Looking for a little encouragement?

It would be my pleasure to offer you some encouragement. Send me a note (alex@thebridgemaker.com) to schedule a free 15-minute personal coaching session. The session can be conducted via Skype or through my LivePerson account.

If you need a little help, all you have to do is ask!

What you think about expands, so think about what you want — not about what you don’t want! – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Article written by guest contributor Bamboo Forest. Please visit him at his online timer.

If you’re a sensible person, you will decide right now to never think of what you don’t want ever again.

I know it’s a startling proposition, but it really shouldn’t be. In life, we should strive to use techniques that work, whatever they may be.

If you were trying to lose weight, you wouldn’t go on a diet of bacon wrapped lard would you?

If you were training for a boxing match, you wouldn’t practice throwing weak punches, right?

You get the idea.

The bottom line is that we should strive to implement techniques that work and relinquish those that don’t serve to further our goals.

What’s in your mind is a constant reminder

If you were trying to quit smoking and you had a poster of a man enjoying a cigarette by your desk, you’d constantly be reminded of what you’re trying not to do. As a result, you’d be tempted to break your commitment to quit smoking, precisely what you don’t want.

In contrast, if you had a poster up of a very physically fit man taking a hike in nature with ease, this picture would inspire you to maintain your efforts to kick the smoking habit because you want to be physically fit just like the man in the poster.

Our minds are like posters that we take with us wherever we go. And the pictures we hold in our minds either motivate us to act in ways that take us closer to our goals, or further away.

If you have a sincere desire to reach your goal, you’ll be very careful what you hold in your mind.

Every direction leads to an ultimate destination: our destiny. – Anthony Robbins

Holding in your mind the outcome you desire also produces positive feelings. Those positive feelings are conducive to positive action. Thinking about what you don’t want causes depression, a mental state disadvantageous to self-enhancing action.

Focus on the present

Since what’s in your mind influences your action, what do you think focusing on the past causes? If what you’re thinking about is a pleasant memory, it will uplift your spirits.

If, however, you’re merely dwelling on the past wishing things could have been different, you’re holding a negative poster in your mind. Not only will having such negativity sitting in your mind depress you, it also won’t compel you to take the kind of action you can right now to enhance your life.

Every great accomplishment anyone has ever made in life has been the result of the action they have taken. Action is the only currency in the universe that produces the results you seek. Since that’s the case, strive to direct your thoughts in ways that positively direct you. That way, you’ll reach your chosen destination before you know it.

Bamboo Forest created an online timer that helps anyone serious about getting things done be more productive. If you like his timer, you may also want to follow him on twitter, where he shares little gems of wisdom.

Take action and see where the good goes™

Each year, almost 9 million children in the developing world die of largely preventable and treatable illnesses before they reach the age of five – that equates to approximately 24,000 child deaths a day.

However, every 4 seconds a child survives thanks to the basic health care provided by local health workers.

Save the Children and the Ad Council are working together to mobilize citizen action in the U.S. to help local health workers save more children worldwide.

Help local health workers bring the good to the children who need it most. You are one step away from helping children around the world survive.

When you help one, you help so many. You can help the good go further.