Embracing Road Rules for Living a Happy and More Enlightened Life
“The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.” - Woody Allen
Editor’s note: This is a guest article by Andrew J. Sherman.
Road Rules: Be the Truck. Not the Squirrel. Learn the 12 Essential Rules for Navigating the Road of Life
I had also been accumulating a series of song lyrics, parables, quotes, stories, television and film scenes, etc. which had influenced my own career or served as a source of inspiration or guidance, which all lead to a two year effort in bringing the book to the general public.
In Road Rules
Let’s take a look at a summary of a few key points and observations from some of my favorite road rules:
- Be The Truck Not The Squirrel. On the ecosystem of the highway of life, strive to be closer to the truck than the squirrel. The truck drives confidently down the road of life as a carrier of valuable cargo for the benefit of others. Its mission is purposeful and directed – it is trying to get to a particular destination, deliver its goods and return to the road for its next task.
The truck remains focused on its goals – you’ll never see a truck out for a casual Sunday afternoon drive. The squirrel spends its days scampering around with no apparent mission or purpose, randomly searching for its next acorn and all too often, winds up crushed by the truck as roadkill. The truck did not intend to kill the squirrel but was unable to save those creatures that get in the way of its path who are unable or unwilling to help themselves.
Like the deer in the headlights who just freezes before its peril, we must be dedicated to a life of purposeful decision-making, especially in these difficult economic times. Whether a move to the left or the right was ultimately the right decision is less relevant than your willingness to move fast enough to avoid a fatal collision.
- Share the Road. The road of life does not belong to you alone on this journey. These are the two critical messages of the book’s second road rule. First, share the road. How many times have we seen other drivers, either on the road of life or on our actual highways cut off others as if their ability to reach their intended destination was more important than the rest of us. It is as if none of the rest of really mattered. We cannot live our lives in this selfish vacuum, especially in a post 9-11 and post-Enron society. We prosper by helping others to prosper. We embrace the notion that everyone’s attempt to reach their goals in life are equally important.
One of us can never be more important than all of us. Second, we are not alone on this journey. We all have an obligation to play tour guide to those who are trying to travel the roads that we have already mastered. Be a coach, a mentor, a friend to those who are trying to get to where you have already been. Our interconnected society driven by the internet, PDA’s and social networks allow us to help each other in ways never imaginable and it will only get better and stronger as technology requires.
I am old enough to remember the excitement of connecting with another driver on a CB radio, who could warn me of the detours and challenges that may lie ahead. We are now empowered to support each other in that same way, but where a few key strokes on to a device that sits in the palm of our hand can influence and improve the journey of thousands of other drivers on the road of life in a matter of milliseconds. Wow – I look so forward to the road ahead.
- Be An All Weather Driver. In this road rule, I was guided by a parable which reminds us all that if we only walk our paths on bright sunny days and on trails which are smooth and flat and on days where we feel healthy and invigorated and when we are wearing all the right gear and have all the right supplies, then we’ll never reach our destination.
To act only when conditions are perfect is essentially to not act at all. There will never be a time or a place when all of your driving conditions on the road of life will be ideal. You must commit to being al all-weather driver and an all-weather friend. We all can remember the phrase which goes back to our school-aged years about Billy or Susie being a “fair-weathered” friend. These were the people who were your best friend whenever things were going great, but were nowhere to be found when the proverbial sh*!?+ hit the fan. Well, I can promise you that Billy and Susie are probably still living their lives in that fickle and unreliable manner and it is not serving them well on their journey.
The truck must proceed in its journey and adapt its driving style accordingly in the worst of ice, snow, fog, hail, rain or the wheels of commerce come to a halt. The truck accepts that fact that not all roads or driving conditions will be perfect, but agrees to enter the highway of life each day either way.
As we grow older, we see these same “fair-weather” friends in the workplace. We see co-workers that will support you and abide by principles of teamwork after a project is going well, but will distance themselves as quickly as they can if a project or engagement is going poorly. We often must live with leaders of companies who are effective when the company’s growth looks like a hockey stick, but you would never want to follow them into a heated battle. We even see company’s culture unacceptably and unnecessarily abandon their trust, integrity and ethics, just because the weather is getting a little stormy. Lifelong all-weather drivers commit themselves to one code of ethics and values and conduct that will not be compromised just because we have a few inches of snow on the ground.
- Accidents Can Happen To Even The Best Drivers. This road rule is based in part on one of my favorite and most practical books, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, by Rabbi Harold Kushner.
In his book, Kushner reminds us that we can commit to live our lives in a good and decent way and still stumble from time to time. There are circumstances we can control and many that we cannot, but that does not excuse or justify an abandonment of the rules or disavow a commitment to live a life of purpose and meaning just because something bad could still happen.
When a 55 year old marathon runner has a heart attack unexpectedly, it is not likely that they lay on the hospital operating table, wishing that they had been an overweight couch potato. We must commit our lives to being good and considerate drivers on the road of life (and on the actual highways) free from distraction, discourtesy and drugs or alcohol which influence our abilities and accept the fact that we may still have accidents notwithstanding our good habits.
The fear of an accident cannot be an excuse for not entering the highway or we’ll never reach our destination.Everything in life has its risks and the most successful people and companies that I have ever met learn how to manage and mitigate these risks by accepting the fact that risk or stress-avoidance is a misnomer and a fantasy. Anything you can do to ensure that the accident will cause some damage, but not be fatal to you or others on the road will serve you well in life.
- Don’t Judge a Driver By His Vehicle. In this road rule, the messages of “not judging a book by its cover” or pre-determining the character of a person by their appearance are discussed and reinforced in the context of driving.
All too often on the road of life, we see a person in an expensive luxury sedan and make assumptions about their level of success or see a person in an old jalopy and feel sympathy for their apparent underachievements. Nothing could be more ridiculous. Hollywood stars and entertainers can be seen in L.A. in a Toyota Prius, Warren Buffett still drives each day from modest home in Omaha in an old Cadillac and Sam Walton drove to his office in Bentonville in an old pick-up truck.
On the flip side, there are real estate agents and sales professionals who lease luxury cars at absorbitant rates to convey a picture of success that are having trouble meeting their monthly mortgage payments. It is not for me or you to judge others on the decisions that they make, but we do have an obligation to look beyond the surface and embrace someone’s inner driver before arriving at any conclusions about whether we want to interact with them as a friend, neighbor or co-worker.
We have made some strides towards a society that celebrates diversity and inclusion, but still have a long way to go. Whether you voted for him or not, we all take price in electing our first African-American president, but cannot now “check that box” and assume that all racial tensions in this country have been abolished. For as long as diversity best practices preach tolerance as a compromise for heartfelt appreciation of each other, the problems and challenges will persist.
Diversity is the engine and the fuel for innovation, creativity and collaboration, but only if we stop worrying about a car’s exterior package and stay focused on the essence and functionality of the interior.
For more insights on being an enlightened driver on the road of life, take a look at http://bethetruck.com. I would also strongly encourage you to share with me your own driving war stories, parables and metaphors, advice particularly those that have influenced your driving style or your intended destination.
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About the Author
ANDREW J. SHERMAN is a Partner in the Washington, D.C. office of Dickstein Shapiro LLP, with over 400 attorneys nationwide. Mr. Sherman is a recognized international authority on the legal and strategic issues affecting small and growing companies. His eighteenth (18th) book, Road Rules: Be the Truck. Not the Squirrel. Learn the 12 Essential Rules for Navigating the Road of Life
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Living from the Heart
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” - Mary Engelbreit
I don’t regret one single day of this past year.
2008 was a year of profound change for me and my family. Not change in a typically cliché way, but meaningful and substantial change that can be witnessed by others and felt in the part of my heart that gives me the courage to keep working; to keep changing and to keep healing.
As you reflect on your personal 2008, chances are very good the things you remember the most are the things that brought the greatest amount of change to your life.
Change can bring us growth and change can also cause fear. When we choose change we are stepping away from the known and into the unknown. Experiencing the unknown goes to the heart of this past year and reminds me of the value of what happens around me, and to me, can also change me.
The following articles from 2008 are my offerings to honor and celebrate the glory that change and love has in my life. I share these from a thankful and changing heart.
- The preciousness of life. Our time on this earth is precious and can be over without notice. The day of Mary Beth’s surgery was a sudden reminder that what we have right now can be taken away In the Blink of an Eye.
- Taking out the garbage. What we have learned about ourselves can sometimes contribute to our feelings of shame. I had the opportunity to throw away some garbage with 10 Things You Wish You Had Never Learned.
- If I only had one last breath to breathe, I would want to breathe love. Love is a choice. We get to choose who we love and how to show our love each day. The most popular post of 2008 (over 100,000 people have read this one article) is How to Love Consciously.
- Learning to be a better father. My oldest daughter, Caitlin, and I had the chance to take a trip to New York City last March. During the trip, my daughter gave me a mulligan, a fresh start as a father. Confessions from a Recovering Father is my gift to her for this opportunity.
- Beginning to heal. Of all the articles I wrote this past year, Why Does the Thunder Hide the Rain?, is my personal favorite because for one night I was able to acknowledge my wounds and at the same time begin to have hope for the healing that was occurring inside of me.
- Four days of change. Four very special days in May reminded me that we all have the power to decide where we want to go in life, we get to choose our direction and we get to decide The Beginning of Next.
- The end of a life. The unexpected death of Mary Beth’s father caused the entire family to reevaluate their own lives and to find meaning and hope in the loss. The family has forever been Changed for Good.
- A celebration of hope. Just a couple of weeks ago, I offered 10 Wonderful Gifts that Give Us Hope.
The Year Ahead
First and foremost, thank you for being a part of my journey. If you are a frequent reader of The BridgeMaker, thank you! If you are new to my blog, then welcome.
There will much more to write about and share in the year ahead because that’s the beauty of life – it’s just keeps changing and keeps getting better if we allow it.
My hope for you is you will continue to look for change and embrace it when it happens. My hope for me is I will continue to live from my heart and find ways to share it every day.
If you enjoy the content found here, please join The BridgeMaker on Facebook. I appreciate your support. Also, be sure to visit the Ask page to read what our readers are asking for in their life right now.
22 Sure-Fire Igniters for Inspiration
“Inspiration and genius–one and the same.” -Victor Hugo
Our days can be long and tiring. With so much to do, there seems to be little time left for creativity and inspiration. However, we are most effective when we are inspired to think outside of the box in order to find creative solutions to the problems and challenges we face in our everyday lives.
Whether you have writer’s block; contemplating a life-changing decision; or you just need a little nudge to get some things figured out, try these igniters for inspiration.
Rest your mind and body
Fatigue can get the best of you. Exhaustion can leave you with little energy to think creativity. If you find yourself dragging and your inspiration is just not there, try going to bed earlier or waking up a little later. Consider using the weekend to catch-up on some much needed rest. Your mind will recover as soon as your body does.
Step outside
Your home or office can actually stifle inspiration because of the monotony and routines found there. To kick-start your creativity, step outside, breathe some fresh air, admire the scenery and clear your mind.
Get romantic
One major benefit of getting romantic isn’t just the connection and bond you form with your partner, but love making is also responsible for releasing Endorphins. These biochemical compounds located in your brain are responsible for periods of intense happiness and pleasure when released. An “Endorphin Rush” can definitely bring about some inspiration! Read more
A Benediction for the Year
“525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? - from the song Seasons of Love by Jonathan Larson
The last days in December are for measuring. We measure this Christmas with the Christmases from our childhood. Our holiday traditions are honored and duplicated because we find comfort in the familiar.
After the excitement of Christmas is over, we turn our attention to a broader unit of measurement - trying to measure the year. This is when we attempt to take an inventory of where we have been and how we have been changed along the way. Read more
