A Guide to Peace via Self Forgiveness | The BridgeMaker

A Guide to Peace via Self Forgiveness

By on Sep 28, 2011


There is a light in this world, a healing spirit more powerful than any darkness we may encounter. – Mother Teresa

As I was returning from running some errands I began thinking about my mother.

When I was in my late 20s, my mother told me she no longer loved my father and that she was unhappy with her life. In my parent’s generation talking about feelings and thoughts wasn’t the norm. The fact she came to me was huge. I felt her sadness and confusion about what to do. At the age of 27, I had no words to guide or console her.

I was as lost as she was.

So, feeling stuck in the “bed she made” and too terrified to make any changes, she sucked everything back in and never spoke about how she felt again. Five years later, my mother who was a vibrant, healthy woman, was diagnosed with leukemia. And at the young age of 66, she found a way to leave her marriage and her life.

Imprisoned by fear

I often hear people expressing anger and unhappiness about their life situations. And when faced with solutions that could dramatically change their life for the better, they back off.

Their fears keep them imprisoned in situations that suck the joy out of life. They use excuses to avoid making changes:

I can’t.
It’s too late.
It’s too hard.
Now’s not the right time.
I can’t afford to.
It will cause too much upset for my family.

Lack of self-esteem keeps them stuck believing that they are meant to suffer. Life becomes a daily suffering that continues to dim their soul’s Light.

Some people have to get to a point where they “can’t stand it” anymore. They have had enough of a relationship, a job, money struggles, their fears, health conditions. They surrender their resistance and take that leap of faith to honor the whispers of their heart.

Magic begins to happen.

My mother lived by the old teachings of sacrifice and duty. I believe she was filled with regrets, self-anger, and a deep need for forgiveness that eventually turned into disease. When she died, she was finally free.

After she died I experienced an inner spiritual earthquake that brought me to my knees. It was the first time in my life I realized how much denial I had been living in and how much of a stranger I was to myself.

In that moment, I committed to a life of Awakening and the journey “home.” My mother’s death was a catalyst for the next step in my awakening and my life’s work as a transformational catalyst and spiritual guide.

That’s why I am so deeply committed to the inner healing and transformation work and saying over and over how critical it is to have the guts to do the shadow and inner child work. And that’s why I go into those dark places myself. I don’t want my life to be filled with “regrets, anger, and resentments or to be too afraid to really LIVE.

Do you?

The path to liberation

I feel my mother speaking to me today and reminding me of how heavy a cost we pay when we are lost in fear and suffering. How much we give up when we allow our fears and subconscious beliefs to hold up captive from fully living the life we were born to.

And how much pain we experience when we are separated from ourselves and that Divine spark when we resist the truth of who we are and live in our illusions.

Wherever you go, you take your stuff with you. And the only path to true liberation for your Light to shine brightly is through those dark places.

I know it can be scary to go into the shadows. The reward of giving you the gift of this freedom and peace is experiencing states of grace and love beyond words.

Resentments, regrets, judgments, anger affects everything in your life.

Whatever you are holding onto that is unresolved and not brought to love and peace within you in operating at full throttle affecting every area of your life, mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. What isn’t released into love festers inside. The result is unhappiness, suffering, illness…life feels hard and painful.

That’s not what you signed up for!

Restoring peace by having the chops to take the journey with forgiveness is the pathway to the life you came to live as an awakened being in this new world consciousness of love and prosperity. The past can only be put to rest if you are willing to take the steps to liberate yourself.

How to tell when you have truly forgiven? You feel at peace – no resistance, no emotional charge or angst. Pure peacefulness within you and you feel an increase of energy and a rise in your happiness level.

Are you at peace?

Are you a welcoming place to receive all the good the Universe wants to gift you?

Your invitation

Take a look at your life.

Wherever you are harboring resentments, judgments, anger, blame, regrets is a sign that there is forgiveness work to be done.

Money struggles, relationship challenges, health conditions, unhappiness.. are indicators of a need for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an internal shift you embody not something you will yourself to feel. Forgiveness is the pathway to love and Grace. Forgiveness is a bridge to the Divine.

If you are suffering, give yourself the gift of doing this inner work. If you have been trying to do this healing work yourself with limited success that is because you are too close to your pain. Get help from a trained professional you trust to walk with you though these darker places.

You are not meant to live a life of pain and suffering.

Forgiveness is an act of self-love.

The only thing you have to lose is your pain.

More from Lorraine Cohen

Money and fear are the two most powerful motivators or deflators today. Living a joyful and abundant life is within your grasp if you are willing to courageously liberate yourself from fears, doubts, and not “enoughness” to know your value, claim your Divine power and live your purpose now! Join me to Awaken Your Courageous Heart on 9/29 & 10/4 for two FREE calls you do not miss!

Lorraine Cohen is the CEO and founder of Powerfull Living. Join Lorraine on May 15 and 17 for two FREE calls: Awakening to Love: Revealing Your Courageous Heart in an Insane World. You are invited to register here.

  • @ Jimmy, at our core, we are all souls connected in a collective consciousness as One and every step into greater enlightenment benefits the whole. Your courage to awaken serves humanity. Thank you!

    @ Bryan, I am reminded that we don’t know what anyone has come into this life to experience and grow from. I grew up with a very angry and harsh sister. She helped me find my voice and courage by refusing to allow her to bully and repress my spirit. Each person is in service to our growth and healing. I thank my sister for that and I hold the space for her own healing because I know that her harshness comes from pain and fear.

    @ Hi John. Life is meant to help us wake up. I am grateful for everything that happens in joy or pain. They are our greatset teachers and liberators. Many blessing and Grace on your journey.

  • Poignant and touching Lorraine. I feel we find it easy to be our own harshest critic and attacker though in a subtle, deep emotional way hence it ripples beneath our surface. Facing and healing such non self love is the way to inner liberation though sometimes, sadly, it requires outer circumstances to shift this. I wish you well on your continued voyage on Earth.

  • Lorraine,

    As I read this, I can’t help but think of my grandmother, who took decades of verbal abuse from my grandfather. I love my grandfather for giving life to my dad (and me) but he was a hard man to live with. And through the years, he survived one near-death experience after another and still he griped and complained about everything and everyone in his life. And at the ripe old age of 86, he has just found out he has cancer. This is horrible, but I wonder just how my grandmother might spend the last few years of her life without the griping, complaining, yelling, and headaches. I know that sounds like a terrible thing to say, but your story makes me sad for her – and she stuck it out all those years. Maybe it’s a generational thing.

    Thanks for posting this. I have family members that should read it.

    Thanks Alex for the insightful guest-post!