When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Dr. Wayne Dyer
We’ve each felt the thrust of a verbal assault. Someone speaks one word or two with the power to knock the wind out of you and bring you to your knees. This is what I call the well-intentioned medicine ball.
As you stumble to your feet, gasping for air, the intensity of your emotion is visceral. Usually, self-preservation kicks in and an alter attack ensues. But I didn’t realize the teaching and healing power for me in such an experience, until recently.
The well-intentioned medicine ball
I should probably explain my relationship with my friend. I am three years older than she and we basically grew up together since she spent a lot of time at my house. We annoyed each other, taunted each other and loved each other to death.
In looking back, even though I was older and bigger than she, I felt overpowered when we got “into things.” She’d needle me into frustration and when my bother heard me (because I was often louder than she), I would be reprimanded because I was older and I should know better.
Whether it was physical or verbal, she just seemed to have an edge over me. You could say I wasn’t quite as quick on my feet as she.
Fast forward about 40 years. We are both married now with families of our own and have left our childhood antics behind. Or so I thought.
Just the other day, we were talking on the phone and admittedly I make a pretty silly comment. She started laughing and said, “Oh, you’re such a jerk.” Instant, presto! The medicine ball went flying into the gut.
Now, I know she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, but this sent me back. Suddenly, I was a child again, feeling small and worthless, struggling for my power. I told her I didn’t appreciate her comment and that was that.
I said what I said, she didn’t apologize and we finished our conversation. But I just couldn’t shake it. That entire night, I was revisiting different childhood memories. It was like watching a slide show in which I starred. Once that medicine ball hit, the flow of air became restricted with every scene that unfolded in my mind’s eye.
Wanting to be saved
I thought of the times I willingly played the role of the not-so-bright, slightly irresponsible and reckless. It was a place I became comfortable with at certain times in my life, especially as I related to my family.
You see what I really wanted was to be saved. I now realize I wanted someone or something to prove to me that I was worthy. Being slightly hair-brained and daring was an attempt to be redeemed by the Universe. It was a way of getting attention and the attention (good or bad) made me feel important – like I was worth caring about.
What I learned…..
- As with everything that manifests in our lives, it is there to teach us and further our growth in becoming our fullest selves. Even the well-intentioned medicine ball presented itself to me because I needed to continue to heal dormant beliefs.
- This situation caught me by surprise as I thought I’d already “worked” on these issues, but I suppose it’s like the dust that keeps appearing on your dresser. You can do a really good job dusting, but it resurfaces. Our beliefs, formed by past experiences, behave similarly. And unless you live in a dust-free world, you are likely to catch a glimmer of old beliefs from time to time.
- But, don’t panic. This doesn’t mean you will never heal a limiting belief. It means that it may simply appear differently. And this is a gift to you from the Universe. Perhaps the emotional charge is an invitation to explore the next layer of dust and move forward on your life’s journey. Or, perhaps rather than experiencing the limiting belief, you simply acknowledge and recognize it and in this case, you become the teacher sharing a healing message.
5 ways to heal limiting beliefs:
- Compassion. First and foremost, realize that limiting beliefs have taken a lifetime to form. Be kind and gentle with yourself as you explore your own beliefs.
- Ask. When you have a strong reaction to something or someone, ask yourself “what is this really about?” If you get hints of experiences from your past, then you know it is a limiting belief.
- Acknowledge. Your first inkling may be to want to push it away; or to feel guilty or ashamed of still holding on to this feeling. Anytime you try to force away a thought or a feeling, it is like adding fuel to the flame. Sit with it silently. Acknowledgement doesn’t mean you have to like it. It merely means you are raising your awareness. And that is always good.
- Tap. Meridian tapping or EFT is like acupuncture without the needles. Tapping on specific energy centers, or meridian points on the body, is a gentle and empowering way to release limiting beliefs.
- Ask. Again. You are not alone. Seek support from a practitioner, therapist or adviser.