25 Small Ways to Love Big | The BridgeMaker

25 Small Ways to Love Big

By on Oct 30, 2014

It’s the little things that keep us together. Those little things will make me love you forever. – Sonia Schaad

#ThrowbackThursday Update (Oct. 30, 2014): After being out of town the last few days, it was the small things I missed most. The nine-hour drive home yesterday gave me time to think about what I love most about Mary Beth and our life together. I couldn’t wait to get home so we could get back to living, and celebrating, these small ways. to love big. ~ Alex

Sometimes the best way to achieve something big is to do something small first.

Big things aren’t created overnight – they take time. Big things are made by doing small things, one after another. It’s like this in our careers, in the goals we pursue, and in our intimate relationships.

My experience tells me that successful relationships are built moment-by-moment. It’s what happens in these moments that create the foundation. While weekend getaways and planned date nights keep the romance alive, it’s the ordinary Tuesdays that contribute most to making a relationship last.

Mary Beth and I will celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary in a few months. When we consider what’s allowed our marriage to last, we point to the daily routines of raising our children, paying the bills and taking a moment when dinner is simmering on an ordinary Tuesday to share a quick hug; a gentle kiss and then listen after asking, “How was your day?”

The way to love big is by doing something small – everyday. These small acts create a love bigger than the most difficult challenge.

Small things, big love

I believe it’s the small things that create the love my wife and I share. These small things, folded into the mindfulness of doing them each day have taken us to the 27-year mark. And I believe our love will last forever if we keep doing these small things – everyday.

  1. Take time to send a quick, “I’m thinking of you” text message or email.
  2. Offer to do a household chore your partner doesn’t like to do.
  3. Guys: Replace the toilet paper when the roll is empty.
  4. Gals: If the seat is up, just put it down without commentary.
  5. Hold hands every chance you get.
  6. Teach one other. Learn from one other.
  7. Cheer for your husband; let him know you are his biggest fan.
  8. Apologize to your wife when you know you are wrong.
  9. Celebrate your partner’s flaws because it’s a reminder of your imperfections, too.
  10. Make big decisions together.
  11. When your feelings have been hurt, speak the truth in love; not hate.
  12. Admit your mistakes.
  13. Show grace when the mistakes are admitted – and then provide forgiveness.
  14. Be your partner’s defender; but not his enabler.
  15. Don’t criticize her ideas.
  16. See the beauty in everything you create.
  17. Focus on her needs first.
  18. Give him your attention when it’s requested.
  19. Keep your word.
  20. Respect what’s important to the other.
  21. Say, “I love you,” three times a day.
  22. Give a little space when it’s requested.
  23. Let gratitude flow.
  24. Play together.
  25. Don’t keep score of the small things you do.
Share your small things

What are the small things you and your partner do that keep the love growing bigger? Please share in Comments below. Reading by email? Visit the site to share – just click here.

The BridgeMaker Founder Alex Blackwell is the author of Letting Go: 25 True Stories of Peace, Hope and Surrender. Join the community to connect, share and inspire: Twitter | Facebook | More Posts

  • Great insight and practical tips.

    My wife and I were married on the beach in Kauai in 2008. The wonderful women who married us gave us our first “homework” as a couple.

    Your “homework” is to practice an ancient Sufi tradition: In your life together, speak words to your beloved only if they can pass through 3 gates: First, is it truthful? Second, is it necessary? Third, is it kind? If your words are truthful & necessary & kind, then the love you have maintained up until today will be nourished and continue to grow & your name will continue to remain safe in your beloved’s mouth.

    Although I can rationalize is it truthful? As I’m being honest, and is it kind? As again, I’m being honest, but is it necessary? is the one to watch!

    Another key I believe in our communication is respect for ourselves first and each other. And living part of the St. Francis prayer, “be understanding rather than understood.”

    We also try and practice the 90 second rule. Making a conscience effort to be present and attentive to each other after time apart. Although having the love and respect for self and each other makes this easier.

    From many past relationships, we’ve learned that managing expectations, and communicating them, is also vital.

  • You are welcome Fawn, and thank you for reading.

  • This is in deed a great list. Thanks, Alex!!

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  • Love is all there is Suzanne, plus so much more for you, me and everyone.