Living from the Heart

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” - Mary Engelbreit

I don’t regret one single day of this past year.

2008 was a year of profound change for me and my family. Not change in a typically cliché way, but meaningful and substantial change that can be witnessed by others and felt in the part of my heart that gives me the courage to keep working; to keep changing and to keep healing.

As you reflect on your personal 2008, chances are very good the things you remember the most are the things that brought the greatest amount of change to your life.

Change can bring us growth and change can also cause fear. When we choose change we are stepping away from the known and into the unknown. Experiencing the unknown goes to the heart of this past year and reminds me of the value of what happens around me, and to me, can also change me.

The following articles from 2008 are my offerings to honor and celebrate the glory that change and love has in my life. I share these from a thankful and changing heart.

• The preciousness of life. Our time on this earth is precious and can be over without notice. The day of Mary Beth’s surgery was a sudden reminder that what we have right now can be taken away In the Blink of an Eye.
• Taking out the garbage. What we have learned about ourselves can sometimes contribute to our feelings of shame. I had the opportunity to throw away some garbage with 10 Things You Wish You Had Never Learned.
• If I only had one last breath to breathe, I would want to breathe love. Love is a choice. We get to choose who we love and how to show our love each day. The most popular post of 2008 (over 100,000 people have read this one article) is How to Love Consciously.
• Learning to be a better father. My oldest daughter, Caitlin, and I had the chance to take a trip to New York City last March. During the trip, my daughter gave me a mulligan, a fresh start as a father. Confessions from a Recovering Father is my gift to her for this opportunity.
• Beginning to heal. Of all the articles I wrote this past year, Why Does the Thunder Hide the Rain?, is my personal favorite because for one night I was able to acknowledge my wounds and at the same time begin to have hope for the healing that was occurring inside of me.
• Four days of change. Four very special days in May reminded me that we all have the power to decide where we want to go in life, we get to choose our direction and we get to decide The Beginning of Next.
• The end of a life. The unexpected death of Mary Beth’s father caused the entire family to reevaluate their own lives and to find meaning and hope in the loss. The family has forever been Changed for Good.
• A celebration of hope. Just a couple of weeks ago, I offered 10 Wonderful Gifts that Give Us Hope.

The Year Ahead

First and foremost, thank you for being a part of my journey. If you are a frequent reader of The BridgeMaker, thank you! If you are new to my blog, then welcome.

There will much more to write about and share in the year ahead because that’s the beauty of life – it’s just keeps changing and keeps getting better if we allow it.

My hope for you is you will continue to look for change and embrace it when it happens. My hope for me is I will continue to live from my heart and find ways to share it every day.

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22 Sure-Fire Igniters for Inspiration

“Inspiration and genius–one and the same.” -Victor Hugo

Our days can be long and tiring. With so much to do, there seems to be little time left for creativity and inspiration. However, we are most effective when we are inspired to think outside of the box in order to find creative solutions to the problems and challenges we face in our everyday lives.

Whether you have writer’s block; contemplating a life-changing decision; or you just need a little nudge to get some things figured out, try these igniters for inspiration.

Rest your mind and body
Fatigue can get the best of you. Exhaustion can leave you with little energy to think creativity. If you find yourself dragging and your inspiration is just not there, try going to bed earlier or waking up a little later. Consider using the weekend to catch-up on some much needed rest. Your mind will recover as soon as your body does.

Step outside
Your home or office can actually stifle inspiration because of the monotony and routines found there. To kick-start your creativity, step outside, breathe some fresh air, admire the scenery and clear your mind.

Get romantic
One major benefit of getting romantic isn’t just the connection and bond you form with your partner, but love making is also responsible for releasing Endorphins. These biochemical compounds located in your brain are responsible for periods of intense happiness and pleasure when released. An “Endorphin Rush” can definitely bring about some inspiration! Read more

A Benediction for the Year

“525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? - from the song Seasons of Love by Jonathan Larson

The last days in December are for measuring. We measure this Christmas with the Christmases from our childhood. Our holiday traditions are honored and duplicated because we find comfort in the familiar.

After the excitement of Christmas is over, we turn our attention to a broader unit of measurement - trying to measure the year. This is when we attempt to take an inventory of where we have been and how we have been changed along the way. Read more

What Would You Say Today?

“What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If today happened to be your wedding day all over again or the day you made a life-long commitment to your partner, what would you say? With knowing what you know today, would you change your vows?

This isn’t about having regrets for what you should have said, it’s about taking advantage of the opportunity you have each and every day to reconnect and to restate your commitment and love. We don’t need a formal ceremony to do this; we can do this over our coffee and corn flakes, too.

Love in the beginning can be very idealistic and naive. It is full of hope and promise, but with very little information that would tell us how our partner needs to be loved. The key to a lasting relationship is to accept and support your partner’s needs. Your commitment to those needs makes all of the difference in your partner’s happiness – and your own.

Experience gives us a more precise lens to see the world. Experience in our intimate relationships tells us where the landmines are located and where the joy and pleasure can be found. Use this experience as an ally to better understand and appreciate your partner. Use this experience to give your partner more of what they asking for and more of what they need.

So, we come back to the question “what would you say today?” Read more